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Old 04-12-05, 10:37 PM   #1
fisherwoman
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Default Some info on Australia

They were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are the actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have a sense of humour.

Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? (UK).
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.

Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you've been drinking.

Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks?(Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water.

Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Australia? (Sweden)
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.

Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia? (USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not... oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked.

Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia? (UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia? ( UK)
A: You are a British politician, right?

Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal.

Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.

Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. (USA)
A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of Gumtrees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

Q: Do you have perfume in Australia? (France)
A: No, WE don't stink.

Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

Q: Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.

Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (France)
A: Only at Christmas.

Q: I was in Australia in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying in Kings Cross. Can you help? (USA)
A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first.
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Old 04-12-05, 10:52 PM   #2
Bassin_Dude
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Default Re: Some info on Australia

LMAO, that cleared alot of things up ;D i know this is gunna sound stupid, but is there actually a thing as a dropbear? dont bullsh*t me either. ;D i looked it up, and it seems real, but all the sites would not say. it seems like a myth.
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Old 04-12-05, 11:07 PM   #3
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Default Re: Some info on Australia

felix,thanks for bringing the drop bear thing this way....lmao ;D
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Old 04-12-05, 11:10 PM   #4
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Default Re: Some info on Australia

I think I saw Steve Irwin hunting drop bear on TV. Nasty creatures.
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Old 04-12-05, 11:12 PM   #5
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Default Re: Some info on Australia

haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa ;D ;D ;D


for more info on drop bears go tohttp://www.ausfish.com.au/cgi-ausfis...tion=register2..just ask anybody there.
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Old 04-12-05, 11:20 PM   #6
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Default Re: Some info on Australia

bad idea tom, i had a guy on there inform me to search it before saying anything. ;D i think its abunch of bs.
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Old 04-12-05, 11:20 PM   #7
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Default Re: Some info on Australia

I got a question. Since the toilets flush opposite of ours. Does the stuff go down or up?
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Old 04-12-05, 11:35 PM   #8
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Default Re: Some info on Australia

[quote author=bassfisher02 link=board=Tourneys;num=1113356223;start=0#1 date=04/12/05 at 21:52:08]LMAO, that cleared alot of things up ;D i know this is gunna sound stupid, but is there actually a thing as a dropbear? dont bullsh*t me either. ;D i looked it up, and it seems real, but all the sites would not say. it seems like a myth. [/quote]

*pounding head on desk* NO!!! of course not! They were talking about KOALA bears, you know those little grey guys that eat eucalyptis leaves only. Heres a visual aid for ya:

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Old 04-12-05, 11:41 PM   #9
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Default Re: Some info on Australia

Hulapopr, maybe you should read THIS!!
http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Forum/3695/db.htm
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Old 04-12-05, 11:56 PM   #10
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Default Re: Some info on Australia

i think its crap, LIKE I SAID BEFORE, but it seems true.
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Old 04-13-05, 12:02 AM   #11
fisherwoman
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Default Re: Some info on Australia

there are some things we can't tell the world about.... it would ruin tourism.
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Old 04-13-05, 12:35 AM   #12
bassfisher14
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Default Re: Some info on Australia

I think these "drop bears" fall right into the same category as the famous snipe.

Anyone ever been snipe hunting? ;D
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Old 04-13-05, 12:54 AM   #13
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Default Re: Some info on Australia

Felix,

Â*That is too funny, Â*i am still crackin up!!!! Â* As for the drop bear thing, sounds kinda like big foot or loch ness.

Sandra
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Old 04-13-05, 09:18 AM   #14
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Default Re: Some info on Australia

BB, i have actually been snipe hunting
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Old 04-13-05, 09:25 AM   #15
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Default Re: Some info on Australia

i have trolled for skank...never got any tho.. :-/
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Old 04-13-05, 02:50 PM   #16
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Default Re: Some info on Australia

About the kangaroos in the streets... I got chased by one in a park in Brisbane. They aren't really all that friendly. The thing that I was most surprised by was the birds. There were parrots and lorrys everywhere. It was amazing. Of all of the places I have been, Austrailia would be my first choice for a return trip.
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Old 04-14-05, 08:30 AM   #17
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Default Re: Some info on Australia

i have been snipe hunting quite a few times...those lil jokers are hard to hit...
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Old 04-14-05, 05:37 PM   #18
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Default Re: Some info on Australia

easyier to hit if you use a pointer dawg. they don't scare you have to death.


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Old 04-15-05, 11:40 PM   #19
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Default Re: Some info on Australia

Snipe hunt every year. Man them drop bears sure sound dangerous. ;D 8)
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