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Old 03-11-05, 05:36 PM   #26
fredhatch
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Default Re: Joke of the day!

Nice joke. Im glad to see everyone in the world rags on our politicians. 8)
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Old 03-12-05, 01:22 AM   #27
fisherwoman
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Default Re: Joke of the day!

;D not just your politicians, if i posted down here it would have been Crocodiles & Canberra
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Old 03-12-05, 09:32 PM   #28
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Default Re: Joke of the day!

Two priests are off to the showers late one night. They undress and step into the showers before they realize there is no soap. Father John says he has soap in his room and goes to get it, not bothering to dress. He grabs two bars of soap, one in each hand, and heads back to the showers.

He is halfway down the hall when he sees three nuns heading his way. Having no place to hide, he stands against the wall and freezes like he's a statue. The nuns stop and comment on how life-like he looks.

The first nun suddenly reaches out and pulls on his manhood. Startled, he drops a bar of soap.

" Oh look" says the first nun, "it's a soap dispenser".

To test her theory the second nun also pulls on his manhood. Sure enough, he drops the second bar of soap.

Now the third nun decides to have a go. She pulls once, Then twice and three times but nothing happens. So she gives several more tugs, then yells...

"Holy Mary, Mother of God, hand lotion too!"



Lizards
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Old 03-12-05, 11:40 PM   #29
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Default Re: Joke of the day!

;D ;DLMAO.......great one ;D ;D ;D ;D
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Old 03-14-05, 02:33 AM   #30
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Default Re: Joke of the day!

Ten most Polite Ways to Say Your Zipper Is Down.........

by David Letterman

10. The cucumber has left the salad.

9. Quasimodo needs to go back in the tower and tend to his bells.

8. You need to bring your tray table to the upright and locked position.

7. Paging Mr. Johnson... Paging Mr. Johnson..

6. Elvis is leaving the building.

5. The Buick is not all the way in the garage.

4! . Our next guest is someone who needs no introduction.

3. You've got a security breach at Los Pantalones.

2. Men may be From Mars.....but I can see something that rhymes with Venus.


And the #1 way to tell someone his zipper is unzipped.....


1. I always knew you were crazy, but now I can see your nuts.



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Old 03-14-05, 07:47 PM   #31
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Default Re: Joke of the day!

A woman walks into the welfare office with 15 kids trailing behind.

"WOW," the social worker exclaims, "Are they ALL YOURS???"

"Yup, day all bees mine," the flustered woman sighs, having heard that question many many times before.

The woman then says, "Sit down Leroy," and all the children rush to find seats.

"Well, you must be here to sign up. I'll need all your childrens names," says the social worker.

"This one's my oldest, his name is Leroy," the woman explained.

"OK, who is next?" asks the social worker.

The woman replied "This one is my next oldest, his name is Leroy."

The social worker raises an eyebrow but continues. One by one, through the oldest four boys, all named Leroy. Then she is introduced to the oldest girl, named Leighroy!

"All right, I'm seeing a pattern here, are they all named Leroy," said the case worker.

The Momma replied, "well yes, it makes it easier. When it's time for them to get out of bed and ready for school, I yell, Leroy and dey all gets up! An' when it's time Â*fo' dinner, I just yell Leroy an' dey all comes a runnin! An' if I needs to stop a kid who's runnin' into the street, I jes yell Leroy and all of them stop. It's de smartest thing I evah did, namin' dem all Leroy!"

The social worker thinks this over for a bit, then wrinkles her forehead and says tentatively, " But what if you only want one kid to come, and not the whole bunch?"

The woman said "Den I jus call dem by dey LAST name???"
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Old 03-14-05, 08:45 PM   #32
housework101
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Default Re: Joke of the day!

now dats funny.
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Old 03-14-05, 11:43 PM   #33
fredhatch
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Default Re: Joke of the day!

No comment. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
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