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Old 12-19-09, 10:33 PM   #1
Abbeysdad
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Default Tiger Jokes

So Johnny is in class the day before Christmas vacation starts and late in the day the teacher says "Pop Quiz...if you get the answer right, you get to leave early."
"Who said 'One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind' ". Johnny raised his hand but Jenny blurted out "Neil Armstrong". Teacher said "that's right Jenny, you may leave".
Teacher asked "who said 'I have a dream' "? Again, Johnny raised his hand but in a flash, Nancy shouted "Martin Luther King". Teacher said "that's right you can leave". Johnny is getting mad.
Teacher asked "who said 'Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country'. Johnny's almost jumping out of the chair with hand raised when Sally shouts "John F. Kennedy".
"Corrrect" says the teacher "you can leave".

Johnny is pissed.

Teacher turns away towards the blackboard and Johnny says 'Sure wish dem *****es had kept der mouths shut!"
Teacher hurls around "Who said that?" Johnny jumps to his feet and shouts "Tiger Woods, can I go home now?"

LOL - poor Tiger (last I heard the endorsement pool was draining and the wife was packing the YACHT to sail back to Sweden.)
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Old 12-19-09, 10:48 PM   #2
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What is the difference between
an Escalade and
a golf ball?

Tiger can drive a golf ball a few hundred yards without hitting any trees.
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Old 12-19-09, 11:38 PM   #3
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The police asked Tigers wife how many times she hit him with the golf club. She said, I don't remember how many but you can put me down for a five.
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Old 12-19-09, 11:39 PM   #4
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Why did Tiger hit a tree and a fire hydrant? Because he didn't know if he should use a wood or an iron.
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Old 12-20-09, 02:52 AM   #5
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Hey now, haven't you heard!? We aren't allowed to call him Tiger anymore, now he has to be referred to as Cheetah!
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Old 12-25-09, 09:02 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BassinID View Post
Hey now, haven't you heard!? We aren't allowed to call him Tiger anymore, now he has to be referred to as Cheetah!


It's not easy bein' cheesy
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Old 12-25-09, 10:30 PM   #7
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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus?
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Santa stopped at three...
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Old 12-25-09, 10:36 PM   #8
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I do believe like 90% of his endorsements are out the window... all but Nike it seems.
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Old 12-25-09, 11:24 PM   #9
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Originally Posted by TN_Bassin View Post
I do believe like 90% of his endorsements are out the window... all but Nike it seems.


Trojan oughta sign him up
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Old 12-27-09, 02:34 PM   #10
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Default Tiger Jokes

So...I may feel bad for the guy, but I do think the jokes are kinda funny

Who has some?
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Old 12-27-09, 04:11 PM   #11
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Help Tiger outrun his golf club wielding wife, video game...

http://video1.break.com/dnet/media/2...video-game.swf


-Mark
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Old 12-27-09, 06:06 PM   #12
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Woody, thanks. That was fun.
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Old 12-27-09, 10:15 PM   #13
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Quote:
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Woody, thanks. That was fun.

Bob, I'm glad you had fun with it. I found it on another site and thought that some of you might find it humorous.


-Mark
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Old 12-28-09, 05:39 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sheereeinjunk View Post
So...I may feel bad for the guy, but I do think the jokes are kinda funny

Who has some?

I don't. He made his bed, as well as several others, now he's gotta lay in 'em
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Old 12-28-09, 11:04 PM   #15
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Poor guy feels so deprived about bedding and marrying a Swedish supermodel that he has to go around banging skanky porn stars.

Yeah, that 500 mil in his bank account is probably a heavy burden, as is the undying admiration of every non-racist on the planet.

When is this sad sack gonna catch a break?
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Old 12-29-09, 02:33 PM   #16
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Originally Posted by nofearengineer View Post
Poor guy feels so deprived about bedding and marrying a Swedish supermodel that he has to go around banging skanky porn stars.

Yeah, that 500 mil in his bank account is probably a heavy burden, as is the undying admiration of every non-racist on the planet.

When is this sad sack gonna catch a break?


That heavy burden is gonna be a whole lot lighter when it's all said and done
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