college football jokes

bamabassman · 08-29-08, 10:50 PM

ok, i know that i am asking for it here, but here goes.

why do the auburn cheerleaders wear bibs over their uniforms?
so they don't get tobacco juice on them.

why is tenn vols color orange?
they can wear em on game day saturday,
wear em sunday hunting,
wear em monday when they go pick up trash on the highway for the prison work release.

ok, now tell yours gang.

i know that there will be alot of bama jokes so lets have it, hahahahahaha

carolina-rig-01 · 08-30-08, 02:41 AM

why is it so windy in texas????
because oklahoma sucks!

what is the difference between an oklahoma sooner fan and a texas longhorn fan???
the longhorn fan wears the bull s@!% on the outside of his boots!

why do oklahoma sooners eat their cheerios off a plate??
because if they were in a bowl they would loose them!

Lancer6 · 08-31-08, 02:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by carolina-rig-01

why is it so windy in texas????
because oklahoma sucks!

what is the difference between an oklahoma sooner fan and a texas longhorn fan???
the longhorn fan wears the bull s@!% on the outside of his boots!

why do oklahoma sooners eat their cheerios off a plate??
because if they were in a bowl they would loose them!

Oh, how the have-nots hate the haves!
OU has won 6 of the last 8, some by scores like 63-14, 65-13.
Why does a kid from Texiz choose to play at OU? Well, you can't blame a kid for wanting to better himself.
Why would anyone wanna wear a bright-brown jersey, a helmet with a flying uterus on it, and be represented by a band wearing bright-brown Roy Rogers suits with 9" fringe, playing "I've been working on the railroad", and looking about as gay as gay can be.
Oh, then there's that CASTRATED bovine that sits/s-its in their end zone during games.
To learn more re the greatness that is TeeYoo, please click here:
http://images.google.com/imgres?imgu...%3Den%26sa%3DN
Enjoy!
And a very BOOMER SOONER! to all.

Lancer6

BassMoJo · 09-01-08, 01:48 AM

why do oklahoma sooners eat their cheerios off a plate??
because if they were in a bowl they would loose them![/quote]

hahahahahah

carolina-rig-01 · 09-01-08, 02:02 AM

funny thing is.......i'm not really that big of a texas fan. i used to be but now there are just too many texas fans crawling out of the woodwork so i am kinda in between teams. but when i do finally decide on a new favorite team you can bet it won't be oklahoma, after boise state beat oklahoma with all that trickery i kinda like boise state.

Lancer6 · 09-01-08, 04:35 AM

Yep, we got sneaked up on by a high school play. No complaints there.
However...a few years and fishing trips ago I clarified for a bassin' bud what was so special about some programs...what made OU and a very few others what they are. Simply put...You are a dynasty, an icon of the sport, and so on when your losses make bigger headlines than your victories.
Besides four "Signature" Coaches; Benny Owen, Bud Wilkinson, Barry Switzer, and now Bob Stoops; all winners, there's this:
http://www.soonersports.com/sports/m...ick-facts.html
I have some other "favorite" teams...Missouri (my Dad's Alma Mater,) Texas And/Or M, Army, (any service academy, actually,) Tulsa, Trinity (San Antonio), Northwestern, Purdue, and some others. I always want ANY Big 12 team to win an out-of-conference game.
My "non-favorites" are Notre Dumb, USC, LSU, Miami, Oregon, and, of course, the Wronghorns. But I DO NOT hate any of them.
Season is upon us and win, lose, or get rained out, I'll always be a Sooner at heart and a lover of all college and high school football.
A bonus this past Saturday night...My old HS, San Antonio MacArthur 42, San Antonio John Marshall 0. Wow! We were the underpuppy but a little shrimp of a sophomore QB led the Brahmas to a win, aided by a defense that forced 7 turnovers.
I wish all members here a great season. To the youngsters of the forum who will actually be on the field...Good Luck, be safe, and keep us posted.

Lancer6

Lancer6 · 09-01-08, 04:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BassMoJo

why do oklahoma sooners eat their cheerios off a plate??
because if they were in a bowl they would loose them!

hahahahahah[/quote]

And Maryland's last championship was WHEN???

L6

keithdog · 09-01-08, 10:42 AM

Driving through Ohio one day I saw an offical state hwy road sign that I know stems from the huge rivalry between Ohio State and Michigan. The sign read, (Keep Ohio beautiful. Leave your trash in Michigan.)

By the way, not a fan of either schhol. GO IRISH!!!!!!!!

bamabassman · 09-01-08, 04:51 PM

HEY...YA'LL KNOW THAT AUBURN U. IS REALLY IN GA. RIGHT? THE GREAT STATE OF ALABAMA ONLY CLAIMS EM FOR THE TAXES!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! irish keithdog? oh no you didn't.....not the irish,.........say it ain't so pal. lmao.

WTL · 09-01-08, 08:13 PM

How do you castrate an auburn fan?

You kick his sister in the jaw.

carolina-rig-01 · 09-02-08, 12:13 AM

well lancer we have one thing in common.........i can't stand usc either

cassidyta · 09-02-08, 01:15 PM

Sadly, as an Alum of UVA, I can not participate in this at all. Both Virginia teams lost and I can not jump on any of the band wagons for the schools out here.

dubyatee · 09-02-08, 02:38 PM

lol I am not going to say anything since Tech lost to ECU this past weekend

Fishnngolfn · 09-02-08, 02:55 PM

I am being quiet until UAB upsets Tennessee in a couple of weeks.

Fishnngolfn · 09-02-08, 03:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WTL

How do you castrate an auburn fan?

You kick his sister in the jaw.

How do you castrate an Alabama fan?

Kick his mother in the jaw but you have to make sure she kept her dentures in.

MIbasser · 09-03-08, 12:42 PM

You walk into a room with 10 people in it, how you know which one in a Michigan grad?

Wait 5 minutes and he'll tell you...

WTL · 09-03-08, 01:55 PM

Lol, a UAB fan? Does such a thing exist?

Haha we own you. Literally. You have UA to thank for having a school.

Hey if UAB does beat the vols maybe you and the other two UAB fans can have a party to celebrate!

Fishnngolfn · 09-03-08, 02:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WTL

Lol, a UAB fan? Does such a thing exist?

Haha we own you. Literally. You have UA to thank for having a school.

Hey if UAB does beat the vols maybe you and the other two UAB fans can have a party to celebrate!

Roll Tide, War Eagle, Go Blazers.

Revised because this is turning ugly and this board is too much fun for this football crap.

MississippiBoy · 09-03-08, 02:47 PM

Wow, this got personal in a hurry, didn't it?

Fishnngolfn · 09-03-08, 03:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MississippiBoy

Wow, this got personal in a hurry, didn't it?

Roll Tide, War Eagle, Go Blazers.

Revised because this is turning ugly and this board is too much fun for this football crap.

WTL · 09-03-08, 03:25 PM

You want a war? Ok.

First, regarding so-called sidewalk alums, I have a degree from the University of Alabama. And that is UA to you son, there is no T. UABs academic ratings are inflated because they dont have the pressure of being the end all be all public institution in state. Yall can focus on health care. Thats called a niche. Auburn has engineering and cows. They have a niche. Alabama has to do it all. You will find the same type thing across the nation in regards the larger public universities.

Second, the UAB fans beat even the auburn fans as far as groups of unrealistic, vitriolic boobs go. One of these days we might just kick your 1 thousand fans out of OUR stadium.

Third, I would be embarrassed to be a fan of a football program that drains so much money from what is essentially public coffers.

Fourth, the reason yall don't make a profit is a combination of 3 things. First, the city of Birmingham is a toilet bowl and very few people feel that attached to it or its extension University. Second, UAB football sucks. You should be 1AA and you know it. Third, in order to make a profit you actually need fans. Probably 8/10 UAB med school grads still like football - guess who they pull for? Haha, thats right, Bama or Auburn. We take your fans, we drink your milkshakes and then you presumptive little twerps dare snivel up to our feet and ask for respect?

Q. Who is UAB's football coach?

A. Whoever Paul Bryant Jr wants it to be. Haha.

Finally in regards to playing UAB, it will never ever happen. Its as beneath us as playing southern miss in hattiesburg. Yall are waaay below southern miss actually. We made a mistake in playing alabama polytechnic institute and giving them a start, we wont do the same to UAB. Why should we? What are ya gonna do, make us?

Oh yeah, 4 million for Saban is a deal. We would gladly pay 10. Worth every penny.

Fishnngolfn · 09-03-08, 03:43 PM

Roll Tide, War Eagle, Go Blazers.

Revised because this is turning ugly and this board is too much fun for this football crap.

Fishnngolfn · 09-03-08, 03:48 PM

Roll Tide, War Eagle, Go Blazers.

Revised because this is turning ugly and this board is too much fun for this football crap.

WTL · 09-03-08, 04:04 PM

You don't even know what you are talking about.

"Alabama's football program had $54 million in revenue this past year and an estimated $32 million profit."

That is per a recent article in Forbes magazine.

Really, I don't think you realize how irrelevant UAB football is to us. The only time we take swipes at the 15 or so UAB fans out there is from when they suprise us and take swipes at us. Look at this thread. I was making fun of auburn. You then brought UA (and again, it is UA, calling us UAT makes you look pathetic) into the discussion, then blame UA fans for constantly hounding your program.

Why should UAB be given more than Jax St, Troy or South Alabama? I mean we might as well give all the dykes at montevallo a football team, they could probably whip UAB on the line of scrimmage this year.,

The cards arent stacked against UAB. There is just no reason for UAB to have a team. From that, yall have found things difficult. We have actually given you a few scraps from time to time, and still we get nipped at as if there is some grand conspiracy to keep UAB down. How many programs as inept as UAB have a 70,000+ stadium to play in? Legion field, even if it is now managed by Birmingham (mismanaged, actually as you know - one of the reasons we stopped playing there), exists only because of Alabama football.

As for UAB making more strides in its first 15 years of having a football program compared to UA, like most things you have said in this thread you are spinning. UA started a football program in 1892. Of course we didn't get on TV back then. Lol. It was different.

And finally, you insult the BOT as being pro football. SO ****ing what? You go to college for academics and extracurriculars. We do well with both. UAB being a commuter specialty school doesnt make the pretense of having great extracurriculars, so why continue with the superfluous athletic department? We bring in a ton of money and exposure to our University through football. It results in a net positive to the University of Alabama. Its what we do. Its what we are known for. UAB brings a lot to our state. So does auburn. Football, though, isn't what UAB should focus on. Yall are jumping the gun here.

Fishnngolfn · 09-03-08, 04:44 PM

It is pointless to argue about this anymore. You make exceptions for your team but fail to give similar exceptions to mine. You said UAB doesn't have the cards stacked against, but it is trying to pull fans from a fan base that have some seriously deep roots for either Auburn or Alabama for the past 100 years. Their loyalty and MONEY go to those schools. And in the same breath you say that it is not alright to compare the accomplishments of UAB in the last 15 years to UAT's first 15 years because they did have television back in 1892 and it was a different time.

Any football program trying to establish itself within the past 15 years is going to have a difficult time, especially if that state has been dominated by two public institutions that have been around for 100+ years. And the BOT exists for the governing of each of the school's ACADEMICS. Athletics, regardless of what it brings to the table for whichever school, is not within the BOT's directive.

I personally couldn't care any less if UAB ever plays UAT in football. I am content watching you guys duck and run from us in basketball.

08-29-08, 10:50 PM	#1
bamabassman BassFishin.Com Premier Elite Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: cedar bluff, alabama Posts: 15,292	college football jokes ok, i know that i am asking for it here, but here goes. why do the auburn cheerleaders wear bibs over their uniforms? so they don't get tobacco juice on them. why is tenn vols color orange? they can wear em on game day saturday, wear em sunday hunting, wear em monday when they go pick up trash on the highway for the prison work release. ok, now tell yours gang. i know that there will be alot of bama jokes so lets have it, hahahahahaha

08-30-08, 02:41 AM	#2
carolina-rig-01 BassFishin.Com Premier Elite Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Webb City, MO Posts: 6,387	why is it so windy in texas???? because oklahoma sucks! what is the difference between an oklahoma sooner fan and a texas longhorn fan??? the longhorn fan wears the bull s@!% on the outside of his boots! why do oklahoma sooners eat their cheerios off a plate?? because if they were in a bowl they would loose them! __________________ You only live once. But if you do it right, once is enough.

09-01-08, 01:48 AM	#4
BassMoJo BassFishin.Com Veteran Member Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Hampstead, MD Posts: 801	why do oklahoma sooners eat their cheerios off a plate?? because if they were in a bowl they would loose them![/quote] hahahahahah __________________ This is my Signature there are many like it, but this one is mine.

09-01-08, 02:02 AM	#5
carolina-rig-01 BassFishin.Com Premier Elite Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Webb City, MO Posts: 6,387	funny thing is.......i'm not really that big of a texas fan. i used to be but now there are just too many texas fans crawling out of the woodwork so i am kinda in between teams. but when i do finally decide on a new favorite team you can bet it won't be oklahoma, after boise state beat oklahoma with all that trickery i kinda like boise state. __________________ You only live once. But if you do it right, once is enough.

09-01-08, 08:13 PM	#10
WTL BassFishin.Com Premier Elite Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Huntsville, Al Posts: 7,466	How do you castrate an auburn fan? You kick his sister in the jaw. __________________ Selling live waterdogs for less since 2005.

09-01-08, 04:35 AM	#6
Lancer6 BassFishin.Com Veteran Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Somewhere out there Posts: 734	Yep, we got sneaked up on by a high school play. No complaints there. However...a few years and fishing trips ago I clarified for a bassin' bud what was so special about some programs...what made OU and a very few others what they are. Simply put...You are a dynasty, an icon of the sport, and so on when your losses make bigger headlines than your victories. Besides four "Signature" Coaches; Benny Owen, Bud Wilkinson, Barry Switzer, and now Bob Stoops; all winners, there's this: http://www.soonersports.com/sports/m...ick-facts.html I have some other "favorite" teams...Missouri (my Dad's Alma Mater,) Texas And/Or M, Army, (any service academy, actually,) Tulsa, Trinity (San Antonio), Northwestern, Purdue, and some others. I always want ANY Big 12 team to win an out-of-conference game. My "non-favorites" are Notre Dumb, USC, LSU, Miami, Oregon, and, of course, the Wronghorns. But I DO NOT hate any of them. Season is upon us and win, lose, or get rained out, I'll always be a Sooner at heart and a lover of all college and high school football. A bonus this past Saturday night...My old HS, San Antonio MacArthur 42, San Antonio John Marshall 0. Wow! We were the underpuppy but a little shrimp of a sophomore QB led the Brahmas to a win, aided by a defense that forced 7 turnovers. I wish all members here a great season. To the youngsters of the forum who will actually be on the field...Good Luck, be safe, and keep us posted. Lancer6

09-01-08, 10:42 AM	#8
keithdog BassFishin.Com Premier Elite Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: IN Posts: 8,308	Driving through Ohio one day I saw an offical state hwy road sign that I know stems from the huge rivalry between Ohio State and Michigan. The sign read, (Keep Ohio beautiful. Leave your trash in Michigan.) By the way, not a fan of either schhol. GO IRISH!!!!!!!!

09-01-08, 04:51 PM	#9
bamabassman BassFishin.Com Premier Elite Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: cedar bluff, alabama Posts: 15,292	HEY...YA'LL KNOW THAT AUBURN U. IS REALLY IN GA. RIGHT? THE GREAT STATE OF ALABAMA ONLY CLAIMS EM FOR THE TAXES!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! irish keithdog? oh no you didn't.....not the irish,.........say it ain't so pal. lmao.

09-02-08, 12:13 AM	#11
carolina-rig-01 BassFishin.Com Premier Elite Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Webb City, MO Posts: 6,387	well lancer we have one thing in common.........i can't stand usc either __________________ You only live once. But if you do it right, once is enough.

09-02-08, 01:15 PM	#12
cassidyta BassFishin.Com Super Veteran Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: San Diego, CA Posts: 2,928	Sadly, as an Alum of UVA, I can not participate in this at all. Both Virginia teams lost and I can not jump on any of the band wagons for the schools out here. __________________ If you have ever wondered if you should retie, the answer is yes.

09-02-08, 02:38 PM	#13
dubyatee BassFishin.Com Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Blacksburg, Virginia Posts: 43	lol I am not going to say anything since Tech lost to ECU this past weekend

09-02-08, 02:55 PM	#14
Fishnngolfn BassFishin.Com Super Veteran Join Date: Jun 2008 Posts: 1,523	I am being quiet until UAB upsets Tennessee in a couple of weeks.

09-03-08, 12:42 PM	#16
MIbasser BassFishin.Com Super Veteran Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Okemos, MI Posts: 1,447	You walk into a room with 10 people in it, how you know which one in a Michigan grad? Wait 5 minutes and he'll tell you...

09-03-08, 01:55 PM	#17
WTL BassFishin.Com Premier Elite Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Huntsville, Al Posts: 7,466	Lol, a UAB fan? Does such a thing exist? Haha we own you. Literally. You have UA to thank for having a school. Hey if UAB does beat the vols maybe you and the other two UAB fans can have a party to celebrate! __________________ Selling live waterdogs for less since 2005.

09-03-08, 02:47 PM	#19
MississippiBoy BassFishin.Com Super Veteran Join Date: May 2007 Location: Ridgeland MS Posts: 3,923	Wow, this got personal in a hurry, didn't it?

09-03-08, 03:25 PM	#21
WTL BassFishin.Com Premier Elite Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Huntsville, Al Posts: 7,466	You want a war? Ok. First, regarding so-called sidewalk alums, I have a degree from the University of Alabama. And that is UA to you son, there is no T. UABs academic ratings are inflated because they dont have the pressure of being the end all be all public institution in state. Yall can focus on health care. Thats called a niche. Auburn has engineering and cows. They have a niche. Alabama has to do it all. You will find the same type thing across the nation in regards the larger public universities. Second, the UAB fans beat even the auburn fans as far as groups of unrealistic, vitriolic boobs go. One of these days we might just kick your 1 thousand fans out of OUR stadium. Third, I would be embarrassed to be a fan of a football program that drains so much money from what is essentially public coffers. Fourth, the reason yall don't make a profit is a combination of 3 things. First, the city of Birmingham is a toilet bowl and very few people feel that attached to it or its extension University. Second, UAB football sucks. You should be 1AA and you know it. Third, in order to make a profit you actually need fans. Probably 8/10 UAB med school grads still like football - guess who they pull for? Haha, thats right, Bama or Auburn. We take your fans, we drink your milkshakes and then you presumptive little twerps dare snivel up to our feet and ask for respect? Q. Who is UAB's football coach? A. Whoever Paul Bryant Jr wants it to be. Haha. Finally in regards to playing UAB, it will never ever happen. Its as beneath us as playing southern miss in hattiesburg. Yall are waaay below southern miss actually. We made a mistake in playing alabama polytechnic institute and giving them a start, we wont do the same to UAB. Why should we? What are ya gonna do, make us? Oh yeah, 4 million for Saban is a deal. We would gladly pay 10. Worth every penny. __________________ Selling live waterdogs for less since 2005. Last edited by WTL; 09-03-08 at 03:31 PM.

09-03-08, 03:43 PM	#22
Fishnngolfn BassFishin.Com Super Veteran Join Date: Jun 2008 Posts: 1,523	Roll Tide, War Eagle, Go Blazers. Revised because this is turning ugly and this board is too much fun for this football crap. Last edited by Fishnngolfn; 09-03-08 at 03:54 PM.

09-03-08, 03:48 PM	#23
Fishnngolfn BassFishin.Com Super Veteran Join Date: Jun 2008 Posts: 1,523	Roll Tide, War Eagle, Go Blazers. Revised because this is turning ugly and this board is too much fun for this football crap. Last edited by Fishnngolfn; 09-03-08 at 03:54 PM.

09-03-08, 04:04 PM	#24
WTL BassFishin.Com Premier Elite Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Huntsville, Al Posts: 7,466	You don't even know what you are talking about. "Alabama's football program had $54 million in revenue this past year and an estimated $32 million profit." That is per a recent article in Forbes magazine. Really, I don't think you realize how irrelevant UAB football is to us. The only time we take swipes at the 15 or so UAB fans out there is from when they suprise us and take swipes at us. Look at this thread. I was making fun of auburn. You then brought UA (and again, it is UA, calling us UAT makes you look pathetic) into the discussion, then blame UA fans for constantly hounding your program. Why should UAB be given more than Jax St, Troy or South Alabama? I mean we might as well give all the dykes at montevallo a football team, they could probably whip UAB on the line of scrimmage this year., The cards arent stacked against UAB. There is just no reason for UAB to have a team. From that, yall have found things difficult. We have actually given you a few scraps from time to time, and still we get nipped at as if there is some grand conspiracy to keep UAB down. How many programs as inept as UAB have a 70,000+ stadium to play in? Legion field, even if it is now managed by Birmingham (mismanaged, actually as you know - one of the reasons we stopped playing there), exists only because of Alabama football. As for UAB making more strides in its first 15 years of having a football program compared to UA, like most things you have said in this thread you are spinning. UA started a football program in 1892. Of course we didn't get on TV back then. Lol. It was different. And finally, you insult the BOT as being pro football. SO ****ing what? You go to college for academics and extracurriculars. We do well with both. UAB being a commuter specialty school doesnt make the pretense of having great extracurriculars, so why continue with the superfluous athletic department? We bring in a ton of money and exposure to our University through football. It results in a net positive to the University of Alabama. Its what we do. Its what we are known for. UAB brings a lot to our state. So does auburn. Football, though, isn't what UAB should focus on. Yall are jumping the gun here. __________________ Selling live waterdogs for less since 2005.

09-03-08, 04:44 PM	#25
Fishnngolfn BassFishin.Com Super Veteran Join Date: Jun 2008 Posts: 1,523	It is pointless to argue about this anymore. You make exceptions for your team but fail to give similar exceptions to mine. You said UAB doesn't have the cards stacked against, but it is trying to pull fans from a fan base that have some seriously deep roots for either Auburn or Alabama for the past 100 years. Their loyalty and MONEY go to those schools. And in the same breath you say that it is not alright to compare the accomplishments of UAB in the last 15 years to UAT's first 15 years because they did have television back in 1892 and it was a different time. Any football program trying to establish itself within the past 15 years is going to have a difficult time, especially if that state has been dominated by two public institutions that have been around for 100+ years. And the BOT exists for the governing of each of the school's ACADEMICS. Athletics, regardless of what it brings to the table for whichever school, is not within the BOT's directive. I personally couldn't care any less if UAB ever plays UAT in football. I am content watching you guys duck and run from us in basketball.

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