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Old 01-24-13, 04:45 AM   #26
joedog
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AN ODE TO SPAM



Oh SPAM! Oh SPAM! Gourmet delight!
My food by day, my dreams by night.
To carve, to slice, to dice you up -
pureed in a blender and sipped from a cup.

What shining deity from Olympus knelt
down to the earth and hog butt smelt?
Creating then man's eternal desire
for swine entrails congealed by fire.

On some corporate farm, a pig has died.
Eyes, tongue, and snout end up inside
that cube of SPAM hidden in the can
I now hold in my trembling hand.

More than mere food, SPAM is for me
a hedonistic expression of gluttonous glee.
Mottled with pork fat, the pink cube engrosses.
My mouth takes it in, my intestine disposes.

Long have my arteries clogged to the sound
of sizzling SPAM when there's no one around -
furtively chewing or swallowing whole.
Triple bypass by forty, my medical goal.

Other processed meat products I've tried or declined
Vienna Sausages, Treet, even pig's feet in brine.
Though each may be tasty in different ways,
none matches SPAM for gelatinous glaze.

That glistening pinkness beckons me
with gristle, fat, and BHT.
Oh SPAM, my SPAM - the taste, the smell!
The sacred meat product, from Hormel.
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Old 01-24-13, 03:54 PM   #27
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vienna sausage were part of many trips.
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Old 01-24-13, 07:46 PM   #28
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Not for about 40 years, but thanks for the reminder of some good times from the good old days with grandpa! These days it's beefsticks and cheese and jerky washed down with water, gatorade or a pop or tea for the end of the day.
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Old 01-24-13, 09:17 PM   #29
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oohhh dave63....you HAD to mention BEEF JERKY.......lol!!!
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Old 01-25-13, 07:07 PM   #30
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Yep. Every tourney takes a bag!
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Old 01-25-13, 10:38 PM   #31
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Beef Jerky, a honey bun, water, and a Monster for that over the hump spot around 1 or 2. I like VS, but I don't want that slime in my carpet hahahahaha.
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Old 01-25-13, 10:58 PM   #32
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ya gotta DRINK da slime bubba.......lol!
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Old 01-26-13, 07:46 AM   #33
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AH, We have a Monty Python fan among us. Watch out for the rabbit!
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Old 01-26-13, 12:43 PM   #34
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I draw the line at taking a jar of pickled pigs feet,in the boat glass might break.
And hes right the juice off vienna sausages is great to wash all that down with.
And no one till they turn color and get a whiff of one will know nanners been in that yellar yak.
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Old 02-15-13, 06:43 PM   #35
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I still take Viennas out in the boat. And nabs, the occasional sausage biscuit and diet Mountain Dews. Oh yeah, my thermos of COFFEE!
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