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Old 06-06-06, 08:11 PM   #1
CarpMan
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Default viagra

Q: What is viagra made of?
A: 5% Aspirn and 95% fixa flat.
I swallowed some viagra once and ended up with a stiff neck. Polly's dad uses it to keep from peeing on his shoes..... pnj, if you rub viagra on a horny toad, make sure you have plenty of line on your spool, cuz that toad won't come back to you until he hooks up with a nice keeper for you.

Last edited by CarpMan; 06-06-06 at 08:51 PM.
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Old 06-06-06, 09:37 PM   #2
zooker
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arrrggggg!!!! i just shot molson all over the computer...
carppy that is sum funny sh!t right der..

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Old 06-07-06, 09:11 AM   #3
JB
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Talking

DEAR DIARY

Day 1.
Just celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary with not much to celebrate.
When it came time to re-enact our wedding night, he locked himself in
the bathroom and cried.

Day 2.
Today, he says he has a big secret to tell me. He's impotent, he says,
and he wants me to be the first to know. Why doesn't he tell me
something I don't know! I mean, he actually thinks I haven't noticed.

Day 3.
This marriage is in trouble. A woman has needs. Yesterday, I saw a
picture of Nelson's Column and burst into tears.

Day 4.
A miracle has happened! There's a new drug on the market that will fix
his 'problem.' It's called Viagra. I told him that if he takes Viagra,
things will be just like they were on our wedding night. I think this
will work. I replaced his Prozac with the Viagra, hoping to lift
something other than his mood.

Day 5.
What absolute bliss!!.

Day 6.
Isn't life wonderful but it's difficult to write while he's doing that.

Day 7.
This Viagra thing has gone to his head. No pun intended! Yesterday, at
Burger King, the manager asked me if I'd like a Whopper. He thought they
were talking about him. But, have to admit it's very nice - I don't
think I've ever been so happy.

Day 8.
I think he took too many over the weekend. Yesterday, instead of mowing
the lawn, he was using his new friend as a weed whacker. I'm also
getting a bit sore down there.

Day 9.
No time to write. He might catch me.

Day 10.
Okay, I admit it. I'm hiding. I mean, a girl can only take so much. And
to make matters worse, he's washing the Viagra down with neat whisky!
What am I going to do? I feel tacky all over....

Day 11.
I'm basically being screwed to death. It's like living with a Black and
Decker drill. I woke up this morning hot-glued to the bed. Even my
armpits hurt. He's a complete pig.

Day 12.
I wish he was gay. I've stopped wearing make-up, cleaning my teeth or
even washing but he still keeps coming after me! Even yawning has become
dangerous ..

Day 13.
Every time I shut my eyes, there's a sneak attack! It's like going to
bed with a scud missile. I can hardly walk and if he tries that "Oops,
sorry" thing again, I'll kill the bastard.

Day 14.
I've done everything to turn him off. Nothing is working. I even started
dressing like a nun but this just seems to make him more horny. Help me.

Day 15.
I think I'll have to kill him. I'm starting to stick to everything I sit
on. The cat and dog won't go near him and our friends don't come over
any more. Last night I told him to go and **** himself and he did.

Day 16.
The bastard has started to complain about headaches. I hope the bloody
thing explodes. I did suggest he might try stopping the Viagra and going
back on Prozac.

Day 17.
Switched the pills but it doesn't seem to have made any
difference......Christ !!! here he comes again.

Day 18.
He's back on Prozac. The lazy sod just sits there in front of the TV all
day with that remote control in his hand and expects me to do everything
for him. What absolute bliss!!.

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Old 06-07-06, 06:13 PM   #4
CarpMan
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Default Generic name for viagra

In pharmacology, all drugs have two names - a trade name and a generic name. For example, the trade name of Tylenol is acetaminophen. Aleve is known anaproxen, Amoxil is amoxicillin, and Advil is ibuprofen.The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced it has settled on the generic name of "mycoxafloppin"........
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