Got an idea for a story to kill some time over the winter.

[flfireman]

that smelled like

[flfireman]

dead elephant dung.

[bassinbob]

Don't forget to

[BigBassin144]

flush" said the

[keithdog]

man from Michigan.

[everettvet]

When suddenly appeared

[bassinbob]

a happy clown

[everettvet]

dancing on the

[MississippiBoy]

toilet, with the

[keithdog]

plunger on his

[bamabassman]

hands and 2

[Bob Smith]

in his pocket
(I'm still trying to visualize that "Dead Elephant" making "Dung"!!?)

[bamabassman]

hahaha bob....me too. guess ol hoseholder is getting back at me for the florida thing. hahaha, it's all good though. tit for tat right hoseman?

[Imgoodatwhatido]

Originally Posted by bob smith

in his pocket
(i'm still trying to visualize that "dead elephant" making "dung"!!?)

suddenly a turd

[MississippiBoy]

posted on bassfishin.com

[BigBassin144]

that MSboy and

[WatterBoy]

It's been awhile, but I think this is the whole thing up to this point...

-----------

Early one morning back in the deep, dark swamp sat a large bullfrog thinking about three more bullfrogs. This was no ordinary bullfrog, but he was rather funny acting in that he didn't like girl frogs. But he did like girl toads. He hopped over obviously female toads to find the big bad bullfrog that was blind. He was very big and lethargic but determined to continue his search for the world's largest female toad.

He really wanted to catch a bass like Roland. Roland was the biggest baddest bass that ever ate lime green and drank mountain dew. Before he could set the hook, he stopped to scratch an itch. Roland was way out of his reach, so he decided to imitate a small orange. He then peeled off his mask only to find he wasn't a bullfrog, but another bass fisherman.

He was so shocked he laid skidmarks in the sand. He reached for his tackle box to find his flashlight. Then he tied on a very loud bell. He cast the bell into the bryers and yelled, "Oh no, what is that hooked on my trousers?" Holy crap! It's snagged on my....taint, but it makes me wonder why I'm enjoying it so much. Suddenly he realized that he was in the middle of a small school of piranhas! These were mutant piranhas with huge eyes that looked into your soul.

The bullfrog was anxious for adventure, but the piranhas offered him pancakes with syrup and spicy buffalo wings. He yelled for more pancakes, however he received tacos with John and ate in glee. He began choking from eating too fast while watching bass fishin' on his cell phone. Then John said, "Watch out for helicopter lures falling onto your head." He wondered why Roland and John were going to only catch dinks!

Meanwhile, Bill Dance was catching many farm raised bass from a hatchery in his backyard. Lisa felt bad, but nobody seemed to be surprised because everyone knows you got to turn the page. The baitmonkey whispered, "buy it 'ALL'!" ... and he did! But then he ran out of willpower, so he bought more until he'd maxed out his credit cards.

Then he dug out his trusty snub nose revolver. "Make my day!", the bullfrog replied to the man with the purple suit. The man wished he'd never cheered for Alabama. Some mistakes hurt, some just bleed.

After he recovered a hooked toe from the scene, he went back to cooking carp on an open fire, cause the gas bill wasn't paid on time. Escargot and Cognac wasn't on the menu, but bullfrog legs and beer blended together sounded like smoothy heaven, with warts and one long hair for a goatee. Leave it to a southern guy to bring up frogs and beer. Git r done is what he lisa and his dog. named, John Seaver went to the old gypsy woman to buy some fried green tomatoes to feed Kevin, but Kevin found a dead mouse in his hair. He then grabbed a candy bar and a Playboy and ran to the outhouse, but it was full. But he REALLY needed that outhouse, so he went into the woods and sat in some poison ivy.

He went to John for help. However, John was smoking a ham. His lungs filled and mind clouded. Could not answer the strange voices that were asking how to remove that huge, monsterous alligator snapping turtle from the end of MississippiBoy's finger. He was screaming like a little Incredible Hulk because being green isn't and screaming like a little girl. The turtle then got a gleam in its eye and shouted, "don't die on me!". Then bcklash said, "Bandit, get my knife, some vodka and a cigar. We're amputating that infected head of a pimple on Bama's right nipple. Then Bcklash had a better plan. The BATF (Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms) would analyze it for any WMDs or any STDs and also TLC, all while listening to acid rock and drinking wine.

The lava lamp suddenly levitated, moving ever so slightly toward an incredible pile of steaming dumplings on Bama's boat, which hasn't been washed since he caught his finger in a big bear trap. He screamed for help from Dr. Stick, but he was on the can. MallenManson was next door, overheard saying, "Come out here Boogey Man, I'm throwing a big throw net into the bathtub to catch bubbles and other nasty little pork thingies." The color yellow didn't go well with the black stripe in his Bill Dance boxers.

Next year's get-together will have cheerleaders that wave their flashy spinnerbait skirts and bounce their JIGS off the bait monkeys head. The monkey screamed shake that thing on pilings over deep brush piles and near stumps that are covered with black bark. In relation to party coves channel where they get downright nasty, sometimes the birds fly over the boats and drop the sticky, slimy poop on the heads of the drunk and the stripper who had cross-eyed snakeheads in a bag of green poker chips. Although you would never see me looking at his wife's brand new and very expensive set of silicon enhanced lips and hips! This is awesome said the extranormal horeseman.

Suddenly, from out of nowhere, came a large nit WHIT for BB144 and Bamabassman screaming like girls who just lost their panties and tore their nylon tackle bag strap when the chupacabra grabbed the two. He sank his teeth into their milky white flesh that was exposed because they forgot to put on snake proof boots. Chupacabra's can't bite all that blubber because their lips resemble carp lips. The g-rated Chupacabra behaved himself better for fear that Santa Claus would eat his brain. Meanwhile, the frog died tragically in a submarine accident. The nuclear reactor, which some say is like the core of the great intergalactic apple, found only in boxes of Cheerios made in eastern Alabama where they eat collard greens and wear crimson red daisy dukes cause blue/orange don't fly 'round here!

So they took the short bus all the way to Washington, D.C. where they met a very large contingent of secret agents from Argentina. As the frog became a zombie, he forgot how to swim through the Amazon River. He couldn't finish because the agents from Argentina had shot him because he forgot bullet proof bibs. From the horizon the Lone Ranger and the frog pointed at Tonto and laughed at him and his squaw. She was hungry from the shortage of buffalo burgers and french fries. She decided fast food might make her burp too loudly so instead she ate an ostrich wing. It tasted better and less filling than ostrich omelets. After eating she went outside to pass some gas without ruining the new landscaping, but Keithdog showed up and suffered some gas of mustard greens and barbeque pork rinds. Despite the smell they fished anyway. (P. 17 starts here)

Unfortunately, they caught nothing but sticks. The boat was leaking also when a beaver died from the smell of the flatulent young kangaroo. Upon further investgation the beaver's tooth showed signs of abnormal growth above what is common to most beavers. Muskrat love was in the air and kangeroo flatulance was their perfume. The sun was sinking low when sweet beaver appeared dressed with a blaze orange top-hat with blue suede thongs and socks purchased from Kevin with Bassfishin' logos. The boat ramp was in awe of some frogs after KVD chose frog legs for shoes to wear. Suddenly, a turkey appeared and ate three helpings of Arkanslaw, hokies, buckeyes who were celebrating grilled gator tail and sweetpatater pie. Then Grandpa Jones hollered out the popuylation 101...SALUTE!!!

After he drank the apple cider, he became inebriated, then backflipped over the entire HEE-HAW cast. Then Lulu said, "Watch THIS, John." The "Cowboys" suck lemons as they trip over footballs and themselves trying to run from the endzone. They forgot to tie the other team's shoelaces together, so they put on ballet slippers to dance their way to loserdom and hold their heads over the toilet looking for clues. Out of nowhere a giant snake with fanges that dripped with gravy bit into Bama's backside. He spit in the snake's eyes and killed the durn thang. The momma snake crawled up his leg and bit him on his helicopter lure and died as well. The moral is leave John's helicopter lure and his Banjo Minnows alone! So he started to pick his nose and scratch his baitmonkey and continued to fish for dinks.

Chinese fireworks exploded all over when he finally caught one right in the other boat's livewell. Mississippiboy told John, "that's my livewell, even though I couldn't resist the size of that badonk-a-donk. Unfortunately, the art of catching your own fish from the lake is just about forgotten. Most fisherman try to catch their fish from the Mississippi Boy's livewell like John did. Just ask BOB-O how he got that giant tuna. The tuna tasted like frog legs smothered in soy and smoked sardines. After one bite, he said it tastes like chicken AND frog legs! Waterdogs, anyone know where ol' Woody put his ruby-studded huntin' boots and his matching neon blue jacket that he won fishing the classic with a pink jelly worm? HA HA! He was so stressed about not landing the big F-14 on the driveway while drunk.

Then suddenly an officer showed up and slapped him with his monstrous nightstick. Woody crashed into the officer's brand new whatchamacallit that Kevin liked. The officer screamed, "Let go of my 'Eggo', please, or I might at that moment take your little pea-brain thoughts and write a letter to Penthouse asking for help on cooking venison to feed the bassfishin.com members at the next GTG, which is where Bama will catch the biggest BASS of his life!"...only it wasn't meant to be. His "rock" bass was not as small as they saw one time swimming in the new electron microscope, but he still had it mounted along with the jackalope he killed while hunting snipe, and so everyone applauded his courage and his commitment during this tough and somewhat crazy tourney fishing season. Better luck next year, JACK WAGON! And so he hit the throttle, gritted his teeth, hitched up his pants, strapped down the wimpy trolling motor and took out five parked cars and a Starbucks.

Now if you are the one likes the bullfrog with a giant tackle bustin' attitude and an urge to polka dance the night away. Bama chose to like Auburn football because he wanted to root for someone who could bring home the Zoom horny toads to catch an angry looking elephant with waxy ears pierced with golden jewelry from a Gypsy fortune-teller. His fishing hat that matched his underwear and his socks an tacklebox was too pink for most men, but not BAMA, cuz it was faded crimson from his early college years when his Cajun was new and STILL pink with baby blue-eyed Lisa laying polka-dotted eggs that hatched into "Little John" bullfrogs. Lisa said, "John, they croak like little castrated piglets." Lisa never heard such a sound, but John squealed like a pig in delighted glee after gathering his flock of piglets to take fishin' in the pink hooded sweatshirt. Thankfully, he will not have to lie about big fish because this time he almost caught that 10 lber again if it hadn't broken his mono he used instead of piano wire he couldn't tune. The bass wailed like a banshee and splashed around in Lisa's livewell, burping up bullfrogs and tacos and toads for Bob's bullfrog fascination twisted reality til a bright light shown on John's Rajun cajun express, which was stolen by PETA members. If you see members of PETA in Lisa's livewell, feel fre to smack them on their ears with a dead salmon tail because they always leave a slimy film that needs to be discarded at once or it will turn green and hug a tree until they cry. Then the EPA brought a telescope and a microscope to study the side effects caused from fishing with bamabassman, the best at catching dinks with humongous lures. So next time Bama tied a blue and orange tiger to fish with, he caught a tiger salamander.

Late one night while everyone was dreaming of catchin' a beautiful mermaid that loved elephants, the crimson tide was suited up for fishing and wishing they won the Iron Bowl. But they didn't because they couldn't, so they all are wishing for a Merry Christmas. Meanwhile, the frog that wuz sittin' in the Cajun dressed like Santa with 8 tiny jigs with trailers wrapped with Chartruese with a laserlure leading the way! When suddenly the water became calm and the frog said, "Uh-Oh!" cuz he saw Mrs. Bamabassman slinging John's helicopter lures with crimson and pink bodies towards a huge buzzing hornets nest. The hornets suddenly turned on their backs and waved bye-bye to the hornet children as they zipped their worm bags filled with nice Floats and Flies. They started casting past Bama's hat toward the alligator who was waiting for a new COACH to show them how to win again, so they called Van Dam who seems to win everything he wants to do.

Along comes the Santa Monkey and tells Van Dam you've been naughty for beating Skeet. Then John hid his helicopter lures at the bottom of Keithdog's green, small jon boat since there was no way to sink it, but looked like the zara spook should. The helicopter lures suddenly fell overboard and Roland came to pacify John. Just when the lures looked doomed to not catch a Plano tackle box or a fish, KVD suddenly appeared asking Bama for Lisa's favorite rattletrap. The Rajun Cajun flared up and coughed smoke, choking everyone on the boat ramp with crimson smoke that smelled like dead elephant dung. "Don't forget to flush" said the man from Michigan, when suddenly appeared a happy clown dancing on the toilet, with the plunger on his hands and 2 in his pocket. Suddenly a turd posted on bassfishin.com that MSboy and . . .


.

[woody]

Bubba played with

[tarpon120]

neon hot pink

[BigBassin144]

Play-doh and spraypaint.

[tarpon120]

Both men cried

[everettvet]

when they saw

[Imgoodatwhatido]

play-doh went bankrupt.

[bamabassman]

i can't wait to see the ending of this crazy story. this makes me laugh each and every day. i look forward to seeing this, especially after a rough day at work. i laugh out loud at this. lisa wonders what i am laughing at and i tell her this story. she TRIES to read it and throws up her hands and says we are crazy. hahahahahahhaha.


thanks watterboy for putting this all together again for us.


now back to our story....................



so they called..............

[BigBassin144]

Ghostbusters! But Roland