College Football...Windin' Down.

[Lancer6]

The college season is winding down and there have certainly been a few surprises. All of the pre-season Top Ten have gone down, some twice or MORE (See: Texas) and a few perennial doormats reached greatness, at least for a little while (See: Kentucky).
There are some coaching changes; Most were expected, some were not, and at least one had more to do with the lunacy of administrations and boosters than with on-field effort (See: Arkansas). Another had to do with on-field results AND coaching lunacy (See: Dennis Franchione and "Newsletter").
This raises a question; Who in their right mind would take the Baylor job?
Then there's Michigan. For UM's sake I hope UM alum Les Miles stays at LSWho. Lloyd Carr was a class act and they need another of his type, not some nutcase.
Firing Ed Orgeron at Ole Miss was a foregone conclusion. Only winning the SEC would have saved his bacon.
Jim Tressel wears one-size-too-small sweater vests. Great for pompom girls, not so good for coaches.
Mack Brown has been further exposed as a great recruiter and lousy game coach. We pretty much knew this when OU cleaned his clock five-in-a-row and has since resumed that track AND when, of all people, Franchione beat him two-in-a-row (THEN got canned).
Bob Stoops proved that he is human, the Sooners' brain-farts v. Colorado being the example. On the other hand, if you want to have some fun, sneak up behind Mack Brown and say "Stoops!". You'll have to peel him off the ceiling.
Oregon's most recent loss proved WHY Oklahoma has the right to "OU", leaving the Duckies to settle for "UO". But let's be kind to our web-footed friends, for a duck may be somebody's mother.
And now, for the announcement of this season's National Collegiate Football Champion...(drum roll, please!)............
It's...It's...It's...(The suspense is killing me!)...........

ALABAMAAAAAAAA! (for the 73rd time!)

Yes, the West Possumtrot AL semi-weekly newspaper, The Klansman- Times-Rebel, has made the announcement. The sports staff voted (right after they finished writing up the latest obituaries and boll weevil alert,) and the results are in...It's 'Bama by a landslide.
Never mind the season record (Lost to Loozianna Mun-reaux? Are yew kiddin' me??? And got beat by Auburn to boot.). Somewhere, the previous coach is ROTFLHAO, and rightly so. Saint Nick (Saban) better get his act together or the Klan will come a-calllin'.
Good news! Mike Singletary is too darned smart to take the Baylor gig.
More good news! Texas Aand/orM made what I believe will prove to be an excellent hire in selecting Mike Sherman.
Bulletin: Mike Price is doing an OK job at UTEP and has not been spotted in a tittay bar since moving to El Intercepted Paso.
Observation/Rant: There needs to be a rule forbidding those goofy dreadlocks to hang out of the helmet OR a rule making it OK to tackle by yanking the ap-Cray out of 'em.
Annual Excessive Skin Illustrations Award goes...again... to the The Warriors of The University of Hawa-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee. Even on their FACES
Did you know that Mike Gundy (AKA Gumby), coach of the less-than-mighty Okie State Cowboys is a MAN! (and he's 40!) Just check on YouTube, (Linky: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5VytIZZzee0 Greatness at about 2:24 in...you'll see.)
Did yew see Pete Carroll after a game in rain? EMERGENCY!!! Is there a stylist in the house?!?!?!
Joe Pa made semi-headlines for an obscenity-laced road rage outburst at a lady...on Punt State's campus, no less.
Steve "The Old Ball Coach" Spurrier still looks like he's sucking on a lemon with needles stuck in it.
Bobby Bowden has stuck around too long. He and Joe Pa are competing to see who will actually die during a game.
Mike Leach is a loon (actually, he looks more like a parrot) but you gotta love him.
This just in! Alabama has already been named Nat'l Champs for the '08, '09, and '10 seasons.
Bill Callahan should have had one more year. Dunno why, but Stoops wanted him to stay at NU forever, so did Pinkel, Mangino, Chizik, Hawkins, and Prince.
It's official! Krispy Kreme has announced all their stores within 25 miles (make that 50 miles) of Lawrence KS will remained closed, shuttered and surrounded by razor wire until Mangino leaves KU.
Oregon still holds the title for "Worst Uniforms".
Why GRAY pants for the ATM Aggies I thought the school colors were Maroon and White.
Why did so few teams honor the dead of Virginia Tech? I did see a small VT logo on another school's helmets the other night but I feel that ALL colleges and U's should have offered some visual tribute...but that's just me, I guess.
Why is Rutgers named Rutgers if it is THE official state university of New Joisey? (Maybe they don't want recruits to know they'll be living in Joisey until they've already signed...Ya' think?)
There's more, a lot more, fun to be had regarding college football, but I'll end it with some pokes and compliments for team names.
The "Uh-Oh" Award goes to The U. of Idaho...The Vandals.
The "A Little More Research Might Have Been Good" Award goes to the Va. Tech Hokies ( A "hokie" is a male turkey who has been caponized...See: Castrated.)
The "Classiest Name" Award goes to Amherst U's Lord Jeffs! (After Lord Jeffrey/Geoffrey Amherst. The school was founded before the American Revolution, y'see?)
The "Vegan" Trophy is shared by The Fighting Artichokes of ________ and The Banana Slugs of ________. Name the schools involved and I'll send you a spool, 150-300 yards, depending on type, of the line of your choice, so long as I can find it locally (name second and third choices). Post your selections in this thread. Due to varying time zones and my inate sense of fairness. I'll draw TWO names from the "corrects" and both will receive the prizes. This contest ends at Midnight, CST, on Thursday.
The "Mixed Feelings" Award goes to The Demon Deacons of Wake Forest...Deacon Demon... and it IS a church school!
The "EEEK! Stomp It! NOW!" Award goes to the Spiders of the U. of Richmond. (Those folks haven't been quite right since General Grant torched the place.)
The "Best Movie Cliche'" Award goes to Wisconsin U. (Please rent and view "Treasure Of The Sierra Madre", starring Humphrey Bogart [RIP])..."Badge(r)s? we don' need no steenking Badge(r)s!"
Oh, almost forgot...The Spandex(TM) Trophy is awarded to Mark Mangino at KU. Phat Phil Fulmer of Tenny-see U. is first runner-up.

Again, congrats to The Tide! Drink one for me, WTL.

Lancer6
Sports Editor and Fashion Columnist.
Princeton Fan!

[WTL]

I can't believe you wasted all your time writing that, and to think I glanced at it for 2 seconds. Lol. Haha, time waster!

[Lancer6]

Originally Posted by WTL

I can't believe you wasted all your time writing that, and to think I glanced at it for 2 seconds. Lol. Haha, time waster!

Wasted my time? Non, Mon ami!
The bait was hardly wet before you took it.
Wasted my time? Nyet, Tovarich.
My nattering amused me and expressed, in an admittedly oblique manner, my sadness at the approaching terminus of an amazing season.
Wasted my time? Nein, Meine kamerad.
If you managed to get so far as the National Championship mention in "two seconds" I've made a true speedreader of you, and you can only benefit by that.
Who says my friend WTL never got past "See Spot run."? Not so. Not so at all.
All in good fun, my thin-skinned friend, all in good fun.
And now I think I'll pour another cup of kawfee and await your next jab.
Be mindful, however, that there's no place for malice in my heart. I suggest you not clutter yours with it. In the long run it damages you far in excess of the meager satisfaction it so temporarily affords.
I'd share a boat, bird, or bottle with you anytime. (But not a blonde.)

Peace be with you.

Lancer6
Three cheers and a "Tiger!" for Dear Old Nassau! (Princeton)
http://www.princeton.edu/~puband/old/music.html
You can click on "lyrics" and sing along.

[WTL]

Hehe.......................

[WTL]

So did you know that a peanut is neither a pea nor a nut?

Amazing.

[Lancer6]

Originally Posted by WTL

So did you know that a peanut is neither a pea nor a nut?

Amazing.

A Legume, I presume.
Love to hunt doves over a newly harvested legume field, and always fill a large bag with leftovers/spillage...Yummo!

LancerVI

[WTL]

Hey Lance, just for you....

Fitter, happier, more productive
Comfortable
Not drinking too much
Regular exercise at the gym
(3 days a week)
Getting on better with your associate employee contemporaries
At ease
Eating well
(No more microwave dinners and saturated fats)
A patient better driver
A safer car
(Baby smiling in back seat)
Sleeping well
(No bad dreams)
No paranoia
Careful to all animals
(Never washing spiders down the plughole)
Keep in contact with old friends
(Enjoy a drink now and then)
Will frequently check credit at (moral) bank (hole in the wall)
Favours for favours
Fond but not in love
Charity standing orders
On Sundays ring road supermarket
(No killing moths or putting boiling water on the ants)
Car wash
(Also on Sundays)
No longer afraid of the dark or midday shadows
Nothing so ridiculously teenage and desperate
Nothing so childish - at a better pace
Slower and more calculated
No chance of escape
Now self-employed
Concerned (but powerless)
An empowered and informed member of society
(Pragmatism not idealism)
Will not cry in public
Less chance of illness
Tires that grip in the wet
(Shot of baby strapped in back seat)
A good memory
Still cries at a good film
Still kisses with saliva
No longer empty and frantic like a cat tied to a stick
That's driven into frozen winter****
(The ability to laugh at weakness)
Calm
Fitter
Healthier and more productive
A pig in a cage on antibiotics

[zooker]

Originally Posted by Lancer6

the Sooners' brain-farts v. Colorado
i watched this game i can't agree more. i know if fly rod watched it he would have been cussing like a sailor..

Steve "The Old Ball Coach" Spurrier still looks like he's sucking on a lemon with needles stuck in it.
this is not new he looked like that since 93...

Oregon still holds the title for "Worst Uniforms".
total agreement with that one -fugly fer sure-

Why is Rutgers named Rutgers if it is THE official state university of New Joisey? (Maybe they don't want recruits to know they'll be living in Joisey until they've already signed...Ya' think?)
answer : cause when a billionaire drops 8 figures "LARGE" on the uni's lap and say "name it after me" so be it..-he also choose the bull sh!t red and white colors... btw his name is albert rutgers


The "Mixed Feelings" Award goes to The Demon Deacons of Wake Forest...Deacon Demon... and it IS a church school!

this IS the bible belt hoss-they are ALL church schools..


Lancer6
Sports Editor and Fashion Columnist.
BOOMER SOONER fan...<-for i know who this is...but wont tell..

LANCER6 what nothing on the orange men?? come on dawg....

i just don't like the color orange because it makes me look hansome. but i wore it for several years while playing college football.....

ok and several times as a guest of the state.


zooker

[Denny_K]

O-h-i-o S-t-a-t-e-..................................:d