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Old 11-30-13, 04:33 AM   #1
joedog
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Default Dave....You know your getting old when....

Getting a little action" means you don't need to take a laxative.

All of your favorite movies are now re-released in color.

Conversations with people your own age often turn into "dueling ailments."
Everything hurts and what doesn't hurt, doesn't work.
In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
It takes a couple of tries to get over a speed bump.
It takes longer to rest than it did to get tired.
It takes twice as long to look half as good.
It's harder and harder for sexual harassment charges to stick.

No one expects you to run into a burning building.
People call at 9 p.m. and ask, "Did I wake you?"
People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
.
The car that you bought brand new becomes an antique.
The clothes you've put away until they come back in style... come back in style.


The twinkle in your eye is only the reflection of the sun on your bifocals.
There's nothing left to learn the hard way.

When getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot.
When happy hour is a nap.
When tying one on means fastening your MedicAlert bracelet.
When you are cautioned to slow down by your doctor instead of the police.
When you don't care where your wife goes, just so you don't have to go along.
When you have a choice of two temptations and you choose the one that will get you home earlier.
When you realize that caution is the only thing you care to excercise.
When you step off a curb and look down one more time to make sure that the street is still there.
When you stop buying green bananas.
When you wake up with that morning-after feeling, and you didn't do anything the night before.



You and your teeth don't sleep together.

You are proud of your lawn mower.
You begin every other sentence with, "Nowadays..."


And seeing NONE of these apply with you.......
you have the very best day you possible can cause you got ALOT more coming!

Dave have a great day!
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Old 11-30-13, 06:40 AM   #2
Jrob78
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Happy Birthday Dave!!
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