Why Im divorced...

texasbasser · 03-05-11, 02:23 AM

Figured Id pass this along......

Why I'm divorced . . .

Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up on that morning..

I went downstairs for breakfast
hoping my wife would be pleasant and say,
'Happy Birthday!',
and possibly have a small present for me.

As it turned out,
she barely said good morning,
let alone
' Happy Birthday.'

I thought....

Well, that's marriage for you,
but the kids....
They will remember.

My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast
and didn't say a word..
So when I left for the office,
I felt pretty low
and somewhat despondent.

As I walked into my office,
my secretaryMary said,
'Good Morning Boss,
and by the way
Happy Birthday ! '
It felt a little better
that at least someone had remembered.

I worked until one o'clock ,
when Mary knocked on my door
and said, 'You know,
It's such a beautiful day outside,
and it is your Birthday,
what do you say we go out to lunch,
just you and me..'
I said, 'Thanks, Mary,
that's the greatest thing
I've heard all day.
Let's go !'

We went to lunch.
But we didn't go
where we normally would go.
She chose instead at a quiet bistro
with a private table.
We had two martinis each
and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.

On the way back to the office,
Mary said, 'You know,
It's such a beautiful day...
We don't need to go straight back to the office,
Do We ?'

I responded,
'I guess not.
What do you have in mind?'
She said,
'Let's drop by my apartment;
it's just around the corner.’

After arriving at her apartment,
Mary turned to me and said,
‘Boss, if you don't mind,
I'm going to step into the bedroom
for just a moment.
I'll be right back.'
'Ok.' I nervously replied .

She went into the bedroom and,
after a couple of minutes,
she came out
carrying a huge birthday cake ...
Followed
by my wife,
my kids,
and dozens of my friends
and co-workers,
all singing 'Happy Birthday'.

And I just sat there....

On the couch....

Naked.

TB

cassidyta · 03-05-11, 02:32 AM

Now that's funny

1/4 stick · 03-05-11, 05:53 AM

ohhh that is funny.

MallenManson · 03-05-11, 09:01 AM

LMAO!!!! Awesome!

MIbasser · 03-05-11, 09:04 AM

He did the "naked man"!!!! It works 1 out of 3 times - so I've heard.

bamabassman · 03-05-11, 09:13 AM

Bwaaaahahahahaahahaha, dat is funny !!!!

Crank-Bait-Frank · 03-05-11, 10:22 AM

Now that's funny!!

Christopherkeene9 · 03-05-11, 03:13 PM

LMAO, that's a good one!

Jrob78 · 03-05-11, 03:21 PM

Good stuff right there!

BigBassin144 · 03-05-11, 03:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MIbasser

He did the "naked man"!!!! It works 1 out of 3 times - so I've heard.

It's Legen... wait for it...

BB

BigBassin144 · 03-05-11, 03:30 PM

dary!

BB

That was a great joke by the way.

keithdog · 03-05-11, 07:05 PM

HAHAHAHAHAHA thats great man. haha

carolina-rig-01 · 03-06-11, 01:31 AM

HAHAHA .Man that would be hard to explain.

Justin2729 · 03-06-11, 11:21 AM

hahaha that's hilarious.

MallenManson · 03-06-11, 01:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by carolina-rig-01

HAHAHA .Man that would be hard to explain.

Not for Bama. He'd just ask why she keeps it so cold in her place.....

carolina-rig-01 · 03-06-11, 09:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MallenManson

Not for Bama. He'd just ask why she keeps it so cold in her place.....

HAHAHAHAHA That reminds me of the Seinfeld episode where George has shrinkage.

Vegasspider · 03-09-11, 12:42 AM

That's too good.

03-05-11, 02:23 AM	#1
texasbasser BassFishin.Com Super Veteran Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: San Antonio, Tx Posts: 2,301	Why Im divorced... Figured Id pass this along...... Why I'm divorced . . . Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up on that morning.. I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, 'Happy Birthday!', and possibly have a small present for me. As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone ' Happy Birthday.' I thought.... Well, that's marriage for you, but the kids.... They will remember. My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast and didn't say a word.. So when I left for the office, I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent. As I walked into my office, my secretaryMary said, 'Good Morning Boss, and by the way Happy Birthday ! ' It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered. I worked until one o'clock , when Mary knocked on my door and said, 'You know, It's such a beautiful day outside, and it is your Birthday, what do you say we go out to lunch, just you and me..' I said, 'Thanks, Mary, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go !' We went to lunch. But we didn't go where we normally would go. She chose instead at a quiet bistro with a private table. We had two martinis each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously. On the way back to the office, Mary said, 'You know, It's such a beautiful day... We don't need to go straight back to the office, Do We ?' I responded, 'I guess not. What do you have in mind?' She said, 'Let's drop by my apartment; it's just around the corner.’ After arriving at her apartment, Mary turned to me and said, ‘Boss, if you don't mind, I'm going to step into the bedroom for just a moment. I'll be right back.' 'Ok.' I nervously replied . She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes, she came out carrying a huge birthday cake ... Followed by my wife, my kids, and dozens of my friends and co-workers, all singing 'Happy Birthday'. And I just sat there.... On the couch.... Naked. TB

03-05-11, 02:32 AM	#2
cassidyta BassFishin.Com Super Veteran Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: San Diego, CA Posts: 2,928	Now that's funny __________________ If you have ever wondered if you should retie, the answer is yes.

03-05-11, 05:53 AM	#3
1/4 stick BassFishin.Com Super Veteran Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Fayetteville, N.C. Posts: 3,529	ohhh that is funny. __________________ Just a redneck having fun. https://www.youtube.com/user/donaldvlogsify

03-05-11, 09:01 AM	#4
MallenManson BassFishin.Com Premier Elite Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Beulah, Michigan Posts: 6,431	LMAO!!!! Awesome! __________________ Bass fear me. Women pepperspray me.....

03-05-11, 09:13 AM	#6
bamabassman BassFishin.Com Premier Elite Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: cedar bluff, alabama Posts: 15,292	Bwaaaahahahahaahahaha, dat is funny !!!! __________________ so many lures, so little time.

03-05-11, 09:04 AM	#5
MIbasser BassFishin.Com Super Veteran Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Okemos, MI Posts: 1,447	He did the "naked man"!!!! It works 1 out of 3 times - so I've heard.

03-05-11, 10:22 AM	#7
Crank-Bait-Frank BassFishin.Com Active Member Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Long Wood, FL Posts: 329	Now that's funny!! __________________ CBF

03-05-11, 03:13 PM	#8
Christopherkeene9 BassFishin.Com Super Veteran Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Oviedo, Fla Posts: 2,270	LMAO, that's a good one!

03-05-11, 03:21 PM	#9
Jrob78 BassFishin.Com Super Veteran Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Dallas, TX Posts: 4,671	Good stuff right there! __________________ There are 3 kinds of people in the world…those who can count and those who can’t. HRN4L

03-05-11, 03:30 PM	#11
BigBassin144 BassFishin.Com Premier Elite Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Toledo, Ohio Posts: 9,463	dary! BB That was a great joke by the way. __________________ As of June 14, 2014 the members of the BF.com forum have moved to basschat.yuku.com!

03-05-11, 07:05 PM	#12
keithdog BassFishin.Com Premier Elite Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: IN Posts: 8,308	HAHAHAHAHAHA thats great man. haha __________________ Just one more cast, and then some!

03-06-11, 01:31 AM	#13
carolina-rig-01 BassFishin.Com Premier Elite Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Webb City, MO Posts: 6,387	HAHAHA .Man that would be hard to explain.

03-06-11, 11:21 AM	#14
Justin2729 BassFishin.Com Active Member Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Annville, Kentucky Posts: 342	hahaha that's hilarious.

03-09-11, 12:42 AM	#17
Vegasspider BassFishin.Com Veteran Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 570	That's too good.

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