A 1/4 stick Christmas

[1/4 stick]

Twas the night before Christmas
And all through the house
Not a creature was stirring
Cept for me gently peeling the tape from a gift
Dang! It’s a Heddon Mouse!

When suddenly I heard up on the roof
A bump and the sound of a young man’s shout
“Holy %@#! Batman! That stuff’s a hundred proof!
Your drunk @%$ best look out!”
Then a slurred voice that sounded quite grave
“Non-sense Bloy Bunder! We (hic) musrst be brave!
Now out of the Bat-Sleigh and to the Bat-Cave!”

Then there was a thump
A bump
A “Dang!”
And a “@#$%”
From the chimney there came
Right onto the fire
A caped crusader with a great BAM!

Again from above the voice of a young man
“Holy Ever-Clear Batman! That’s not the cave
You’ve gone down a chimney
You’re a drunken fool Batman!”

His eyes grew wide as he looked at me
“I’m ¼ stick.” I said,
“Who you be?”
Twas quite shocked by his reply
“Can‘t you see?
I’m Batman, young JedI!”

His eyes grew wider
as he squealed “Yeeeeow!”
The fire grew brighter
As he began to prowl
I was amazed
As he ran through my house
With the seat of his cape ablaze

Though my living room
Down the hall
Into my kitchen
He ran into a wall
With the extinguisher
I put out his blaze
One thing for sure
This Bat had no grace

Back down the hall
And out the front door
He tripped on the mat
And started to fall
He was caught by a boy wonder
“I got you Batman. I gotta say
You’re certainly no bore.”
I agree with Robin
That much is for shore!

Back to the roof
Robin loaded Batman into the sleigh with care
“Batman you’re a goof.
From now on I hide the liquor!”

The turbine started
And the exhaust spit fire
“Batman you farted!”
Said his young squire
“Dark Knight my @%#!
You’re a big bag of dark gas!”

And on their journey they started
Leaving my roof with a roar
But before they parted
Robin let out with a shout
“Merry freakin Christmas to all!
I think I’ll pick up batgirl
we’ll all have a ball!!”



Merry Christmas everybody!