Chain of Command

BigBassin144 · 05-29-08, 08:51 AM

All Mrphotographer's talk of hte navy and such reminded me of one of my favorite military jokes.

So here's the chain of command.

ADMIRAL/GENERAL
Leaps tall buildings in a single bound, is more powerful than a locomotive, is faster than a speeding bullet, walks on water, and gives policy to God.

CAPTAIN/COLONEL
Leaps short buildings with a single bound, is more powerful than a switch engine, is just as fast as a speeding bullet, walks on water if it is calm, and talks to God.

COMMANDER/LT COLONEL
Leaps short buildings with a running start and a favorable wind, is almost as powerful as a switch engine, is faster than a speeding BB, walks on water in an indoor pool, and talks to God if a special chit is approved.

LT COMMANDER/MAJOR
Barely clears quonset huts, loses tugs-of-war with a locomotive, can fire a speeding bullet, swims well, and is occasionally addressed by God.

LIEUTENANT/CAPTAIN
Makes high marks when trying to leap buildings, is run over by locomotives, can fire a handgun without inflicting self-injury, can doggie paddle, and talks to animals.

LTJG/1LT
Runs into buildings, recognizes locomotives two out of three times, is not issued ammunition, can stay afloat if properly instructed, and talks to himself.

ENSIGN/2LT
Falls over door sills when trying to enter buildings, says, "Look at the Choo Choo.", wets himself with a water pistol, and mumbles to himself.
CPO/SNCO
Lifts buildings and walks under them, kicks locomotives off the tracks, catches speeding bullets in his teeth and chews them, and freezes water with a single glance. He is God!

BB

CarpMan · 05-29-08, 09:10 AM

The Sheriff in a small town walks out on the street and sees a Redneck cowboy coming down the street with nothing on but his cowboy hat, gun, and his boots, so he arrests him for indecent exposure. As he is locking him up, he ask “Why are you dressed like this?” The redneck says “Well it’s like this Sheriff”. I was in the Bar down the street and this pretty red-head ask me to go out to her motor home with her. So I did. We go inside and she pulls her top off and ask me to take off my shirt… so I did. Then she pulls off her daisy Dukes and as me to take of my pants. So I did. Then she gets on the bed and looks at me kinda sexy and says” now go to town cowboy‘. So here I are.

BigBassin144 · 05-29-08, 09:12 AM

that was hilarious carpman!

BB

05-29-08, 08:51 AM	#1
BigBassin144 BassFishin.Com Premier Elite Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Toledo, Ohio Posts: 9,463	Chain of Command All Mrphotographer's talk of hte navy and such reminded me of one of my favorite military jokes. So here's the chain of command. ADMIRAL/GENERAL Leaps tall buildings in a single bound, is more powerful than a locomotive, is faster than a speeding bullet, walks on water, and gives policy to God. CAPTAIN/COLONEL Leaps short buildings with a single bound, is more powerful than a switch engine, is just as fast as a speeding bullet, walks on water if it is calm, and talks to God. COMMANDER/LT COLONEL Leaps short buildings with a running start and a favorable wind, is almost as powerful as a switch engine, is faster than a speeding BB, walks on water in an indoor pool, and talks to God if a special chit is approved. LT COMMANDER/MAJOR Barely clears quonset huts, loses tugs-of-war with a locomotive, can fire a speeding bullet, swims well, and is occasionally addressed by God. LIEUTENANT/CAPTAIN Makes high marks when trying to leap buildings, is run over by locomotives, can fire a handgun without inflicting self-injury, can doggie paddle, and talks to animals. LTJG/1LT Runs into buildings, recognizes locomotives two out of three times, is not issued ammunition, can stay afloat if properly instructed, and talks to himself. ENSIGN/2LT Falls over door sills when trying to enter buildings, says, "Look at the Choo Choo.", wets himself with a water pistol, and mumbles to himself. CPO/SNCO Lifts buildings and walks under them, kicks locomotives off the tracks, catches speeding bullets in his teeth and chews them, and freezes water with a single glance. He is God! BB __________________ As of June 14, 2014 the members of the BF.com forum have moved to basschat.yuku.com!

05-29-08, 09:10 AM	#2
CarpMan BassFishin.Com Veteran Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 676	Redneck cowboy The Sheriff in a small town walks out on the street and sees a Redneck cowboy coming down the street with nothing on but his cowboy hat, gun, and his boots, so he arrests him for indecent exposure. As he is locking him up, he ask “Why are you dressed like this?” The redneck says “Well it’s like this Sheriff”. I was in the Bar down the street and this pretty red-head ask me to go out to her motor home with her. So I did. We go inside and she pulls her top off and ask me to take off my shirt… so I did. Then she pulls off her daisy Dukes and as me to take of my pants. So I did. Then she gets on the bed and looks at me kinda sexy and says” now go to town cowboy‘. So here I are.

05-29-08, 09:12 AM	#3
BigBassin144 BassFishin.Com Premier Elite Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Toledo, Ohio Posts: 9,463	that was hilarious carpman! BB __________________ As of June 14, 2014 the members of the BF.com forum have moved to basschat.yuku.com!

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