The Parrot

[1/4 stick]

A magician worked on a cruise ship. The audience was different each week so the magician did the same tricks over and over again.

There was only one problem. The captain's parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the magician did every trick.

Once he understood, he started shouting in the middle of the show, "Look! It's not the same hat!" or "Look, he's hiding the flowers under the table!" Or, "Hey, why are all the cards the ace of spades?"

The magician was furious but couldn't do anything. It was, after all, it was the captain's parrot.

Then one stormy night on the Pacific, the ship unfortunately sank, drowning almost all who were on board.

The magician luckily found himself on a piece of wood floating in the middle of the sea, as fate would have it ... with the parrot.

They stared at each other with hatred, but did not utter a word.

This went on for a day... And then 2 days. And then 3 days.


Finally on the fourth day, the parrot could not hold back any longer and said...

"OK, I give up. Where's the friggin' ship?"

[bassboogieman]

Another parrot joke

Lady walks into a pet store looking for a bird. She sees a parrot she takes a fancy to and asks the store clerk about it. Clerk tells the lady what a fine pet a parrot makes, but this particular bird was previously owned by a rather vulgar (engineer from Indiana?) man and has a pretty racy attitute and vocabulary.

The lady is not flustered, and says she has a lot of experience in training animals and has a few tricks to break them of bad habits, so she takes the bird home along with a cage and all the essentials.

When she gets home she places the parrot in the family room, leaving the cage covered planning to accilimate the new bird in the morning.

The next morning she goes downstairs and uncovers the parrot and walks toward the kitchen to put coffee on, when the bird says - Hey lady you have a nice butt. Stopped dead in her tracks she returns to the cage and takes the parrot out and places him in her freezer. Never too soon to start training this bird and break his habit of bad language.

After about 5 minutes, she figures the parrot will be getting the idea and takes him out of the freezer and starts back to the cage. The parrot is on the verge of numbness but obvioulsy hasn't learned his lesson, for looking at the woman he says - Hey lady, that's a heck of a set of boobs. OOPS! Back to the freezer.

After 10 minutes the lady takes the shivering, frost covered bird out of the freezer and returns him to his cage. Barely able to keep himself upright on his pirch, as the lady turns to check on her coffee, the parrot squacks - Hhhheeeyy lllllaaadddyy, wwhhaattt dddddiiid the ttturrkey say?

[MississippiBoy]

One good parrot joke deserves another....and another.

A lady goes into a pet store and sees a beautiful parrot for sale for $10. She asks the owner why it was so cheap, he tells her that it belonged to the madam of a brothel for years, so it had a pretty salty vocabulary. She ends up buying it, figuring she'll only be out $10 if she has to get rid if it.
So she gets home, sets the bird's cage in the living room, and uncovers it. The parrot takes a minute to look around, then squawks, "New house." Then he looks over to the lady and says, "New house, new madam." She's vaguely insulted, but figures that's not too bad. Soon, her two teenage daughters come in. The parrot looks at them and says, "New house, new madam, new working girls."
Now, the lady is pretty offended and is beginning to second guess her purchase. Just then, her husband comes in after work. The parrot cocks an eye at him and says, "Hey, Mark."

[Bassboss]

lmao!! Good stuff!