Soon to be single

[Fishnngolfn]

Well, the wife and I are getting a divorce. Next year at the get together, I will provide more info for those that are curious. Makes me really mad now that I didn't go to this year's get together.

Up side - don't have to check in with anyone if I want to go fishing or buy that new fishing pole.
Down side - I will only get to see my 2 year old son and 12 year old step daughter (if she wants to visit) every other weekend and one week in the summer and rotating holidays.

Any advice from any divorced guys out there. PM me if you want.

[bassFishingWNY]

Been trough it twice. First 4 kids, second none. Wait till you get the child support bill, you will be lucky to be able to afford fishing, forget about new pole!

[bamabassman]

so sorry bout this f&g. really am. been through this myself. have a 31 yr old step daughter. haven't seen her but twice since the divorce. long story and i won't bore you with it. just remember this my frined. NEVER blame the kids or put the kids in the middle of ANY argument. the children aren't at fault. never use the kids as bait or leverage. and never allow her to either. keep the children FIRST. think of them only. it will be fine in the coming days. if oyu need to talk, holler at me. i'll send you my numbers. we can talk, or i can listen real good. or if ya want. after i get moved, come up here and we'll go out on guntersville. i am in the middle of getting ready to move. so i might be kinda tight for a month or so. but hit me up anyway pal. we'll hit the lake for a day or 2.

[JB]

bama ya ever get that sewer line fixed?

[MIbasser]

F&G sorry to hear about that man. I may not have went through a divorce but do have a 2 1/2 year old little girl. Being a single dad isn't the easiest thing in the world. I've done a lot of growing up with her. It does suck to see her every other weekend, but we've worked it out where I can have her when ever I want.
It may get a little spendy and cut into the monkey a little bit, but when you do get your own place, have a room for him. That way it will get him excited about spending the weekend with dad. Have some of the same toys that he has with his mom, but get a couple different.
Do as bama said, never fight in front of him or where he can hear you on the phone.
And last, if you do find another woman take your time. Don't introduce the two right away. If he see's a lot of different women in your life it'll be hard on him.

Just my .02. Best of luck. It'll all be better in the long run.

[bamabassman]

yes jb, sure did.

[cassidyta]

I am sorry to hear that. I have been through it and don't wish it on anyone.

[1/4 stick]

I'm sorry to here it. Been through 3 myself. Have a 18 yr old daughter from the first, and 10 yr old son from my third. What bama said is the best advise you can get. Never talk bad about your ex to the kids, and do everything you can to make sure you don't miss your time with the kids. And if you have a good relationship with your step-daughter, make time to tell her that you love her and will be there for her if she needs you.

[carolina-rig-01]

you guys both take care of those kids through this. my parents got divorced when i was 14 and my sister was 9. i was older and more able to understand what was going on than her but still yet i didn't grasp it completly. kids often get pushed aside in matters like this because the parents are selfish and only concerned with their matters which really don't stack up to the needs of the children which are going through a lot more than the parents generally are. i am not saying that you are doing or will do this, i am just giving you a little advice that maybe you haven't heard or thought of because your kids life will never be the same and it can cause them a lot of trouble down the road.

my wife and i have been married for 5 years without so much as a single fight so i can't give you any advice from the point of view that you are asking advice from. i am sorry to hear about your problems and wish you both nothing but the best.

[NWOhioBear]

Sorry to hear that... About all I can say. Try counseling etc? Bleh not my business.. Good luck with it.

[Jim80]

F&G man I am really sorry to hear it man if ya need someone to talk to feel free to drop me a line .


jim

[WTL]

Sorry FnG, I know we've had a few arguments in the past but I want you to know you got friends here. Just take care of the kids, they are the real important things in life.

[brushhog]

FNG - tough times don't last, tough people do... Hang tough friend.

[bassintom]

All good advice,also get a good lawyer.I'm serious.You may think things are all worked out and you don't need one but cover your a** and get one.I wish you the best of luck.

[MallenManson]

Sorry to hear that fng. Divorce is never an easy thing, especially with kids involved. Thankfully, my former wife and I never had any.
Child support won't last forever, it'll just feel like it. I'm done on January 29th

[Bubba_Bruiser]

I have never been through one, but I am sorry to hear about it man.

[Fishnngolfn]

Originally Posted by bassFishingWNY

Been trough it twice. First 4 kids, second none. Wait till you get the child support bill, you will be lucky to be able to afford fishing, forget about new pole!

Well I have to pay child support for 1 child. I will actually be putting about 4 times more towards savings each month because I am losing her car payment and most of my bills are being cut in half or gone completely. I will be moving A LOT closer to work so I will be saving about $200 a month in just gasoline. I plan on saving up for a motorcycle first.

And we are not fighting that much. We actually haven't fought at all since we decided to divorce. When we do "disagree" it is never in front of the kids. We are going the "uncontested" route and I imagine the paperwork will be finalized sometime in August. We have actually agreed on everything (material things) without any real arguments.

[1/4 stick]

Originally Posted by Fishnngolfn

Well I have to pay child support for 1 child. I will actually be putting about 4 times more towards savings each month because I am losing her car payment and most of my bills are being cut in half or gone completely. I will be moving A LOT closer to work so I will be saving about $200 a month in just gasoline. I plan on saving up for a motorcycle first.

And we are not fighting that much. We actually haven't fought at all since we decided to divorce. When we do "disagree" it is never in front of the kids. We are going the "uncontested" route and I imagine the paperwork will be finalized sometime in August. We have actually agreed on everything (material things) without any real arguments.

That's as good as you can ask for man. And who knows, could be you and your soon to be ex have a better relationship as friends than as a married couple. It's no good for you, her, or the kids to stay together as a married couple when one or both of you are miserable.

[bamabassman]

sounds like you 2 are acting like "adults" f&g. that is a great thing. like i said earlier, if ya need something i can help ya with, call. i'll be busy some, but i can listen. and hit me up for a trip late this summer. i'll be through with the house by then (hopefully).

[Fishnngolfn]

Originally Posted by bamabassman

sounds like you 2 are acting like "adults" f&g. that is a great thing. like i said earlier, if ya need something i can help ya with, call. i'll be busy some, but i can listen. and hit me up for a trip late this summer. i'll be through with the house by then (hopefully).

I'll probably take you up on that offer. Not sure about this summer because everything looks to be pretty crazy late August with finding an apartment, moving, and getting adjusted to visitation with my boy. I'll see. I got your number so I'll call.

The best part is my family has been extremely supportive, emotionally and financially.

[bamabassman]

anytime ya can pal, call. and family is always there for you. mine always have been. hopefully oyu can get your son whenever you want in the future. my brother can with his. hopefully you can too.