Sorry I've been scarce..

[1/4 stick]

Aint been on much. Took my mom to the hospital a few weeks ago. Had some infection and needed iv antibiotics. She's better but in rehab again. I ask for your prayers for her, and thank you in advance. We kinda need her around awhile longer.

But something hit me today as I was visiting her and the physical therapist was working with her. A reality that I don't want to face. I didn't see it coming with my father. Kinda wishing I was blissfully oblivious to this now.

My mother is 84 years old. Every minute I talk to her I can tell the woman I once knew is slowly going away. When asked a question there's so often a slow pause that seems to last forever, and confusion like she's struggling to think and find her words; this from a woman that use to be so quick witted it'd make my head spin. I walk behind her and see how she struggles for just a few feet when not so long ago she'd wear my young legs out in a store. I try to fight and hide what I know. But the truth is there before my eyes. Hopefully not for awhile, but then am I being selfish to hope for that. I want the days of her out fishing us all back again. A deep, long hurt, and a lot of lonely is coming. I so wish somethings could last for ever. This and a few other things making faith hard for me to find here lately.

Just want her to see me graduate so for once in her life she can say that her baby boy who gave her pure hell, finally made her proud. Even though I know she'll never go to see me take the diploma. I just want her to be able to look at me and be proud for once.