Dik-do

[CarpMan]

I’v been ask not to leave the site, but to stay and show more of my bull..This is not "Satire" It’s "BS" and my intentions are not to poke fun or degrade anyone.. The names have been altered....... Sooker was working on his Bass boat near his patio, and his friends were in the house in the kitchen... Sooker was racing the engine on his Boat motor and somehow, the trailer started to roll towards the house. While holding the throttle open, Sook was dragged through a glass patio door and his boat was knocked off the trailer and dumped onto the living room floor. His friends, hearing the crash, ran into the dining room, and found Sooker laying on the floor, cut and bleeding, the boat on top of him and the patio door shattered. His friends ran to the phone and summoned an ambulance. Because Sooker lived on a hill out in the Country, BJ went down the hill to direct the paramedics to Sooker. After the ambulance arrived and transported Sooker to the hospital, some other Bass Buddies came over and uprighted his boat, put it on the trailer and pushed it outside. Seeing that gasoline had spilled on the floor, BJ obtained some papers towels, blotted up the gasoline, and threw the towels in the toilet. Sooker was treated at the hospital for cuts and bruises to the lower parts of his torso and was released to come home. After ariving home, Sooker looked at the shattered patio door and the damage done to his Boat. He became depressed, took two advil for his pain, went into the bathroom, sat on the throne and had a smoke to calm his nerves.. After finishing the smoke, he flipped it between his legs into the toilet bowl while still seated. His friends, who were in the kitchen, heard a loud explosion and Sooker screaming. They ran into the bathroom and found Sooker laying on the floor. His trousers had been blown away and he was suffering burns on the buttocks, the back of his legs and his groin area looked worse than Elmers did when he got attacked by "Ole Butch". They ran to the phone and called for an ambulance. The same ambulance crew was dispatched, BJ met them at the street. The paramedics loaded Sook back on the stretcher and began carrying him to the Ambulance. While they were going down the hill to the road, one of the paramedics asked BJ how Sooker had burned himself. When he told them, the paramedics started laughing so hard, one of them tipped the stretcher and dumped Sooker on the ground and Sooker tumbled uncontrolably down the hill to the Ambulance, thus causing him to fracture his elbow, breaking his arm and fracturing many more bones in his body.... And that’s why Sooker needs the Advil, Vicadin and a leaning post with a Butt seat when he fishes. But he did give up his smoking and now has his anger moments. His DR.has run some serious test and found that when the blast ocurred in the bathroom, something happened that somehow it inverted one of Sooks testicles and gave him a hardy appitete and a craving for double cheese burgers and large mountain dew’s, which has developed into a serious case of"dik-do". Now I checked with his friends, BJ and some of his other Bass Buddies, and they told me in lamen’s terms that a lot of Bass fisherman have the same thing, which means he has gained so much weight that when he looks down at his feet, he has noticed that his stomach and belt buckle sticks out further than his "dik-do"....Polly is thankful that I'm not a Basser. C Man