Married guy quotes

bluebasser86 · 10-14-11, 10:41 PM

Stolen from another board:
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
Lee Majors

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
Al Gore

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
Socrates

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
Mike Tyson

The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?
George Clooney

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
Bill Clinton

"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."
George W. Bush

"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years."
Rudy Giuliani

"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage."
Michael Jordan

"I've had bad luck with all my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn't." The third gave me more children!
Donald Trump

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
Shaquille O'Neal

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once...
Kobe Bryant

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
David Hasselhoff

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
Alec Baldwin

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
Barack Obama

Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.
Tommy Lee

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
Brad Pitt

First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
Jimmy Kimmel

"Honey, what happened to 'ladies first'?" Husband replies, "That's the reason why the world's a mess today, because a lady went first!"
David Letterman

"First there's the promise ring, then the engagement ring, then the wedding ring...soon after....comes Suffer...ing!
Jay Leno

carolina-rig-01 · 10-14-11, 10:57 PM

HAHAHA those are funny.

Tavery5 · 10-14-11, 11:07 PM

To keep our sex life interesting me and the wife are trying something new to us called hallway sex. When we see each other in the hallway, she says, "screw you" and I reply " screw you too".

Unknown Author

bcklash · 10-14-11, 11:13 PM

These are great. I really liked this one.

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
Bill Clinton

Bassboss · 10-14-11, 11:45 PM

lmao! Had a good laugh thanks for sharing!

Bubba_Bruiser · 10-15-11, 06:00 AM

All us married men can easily relate. Here is a bonus:

On Friday, A hooded robber burst into a
Golden Meadow, LA bank in South Louisiana and, at
gunpoint, forced the tellers to load their
cash into a plain brown bag.

As the robber approached the door, one brave
customer grabbed the hood and pulled it
off, revealing the robbers face. Without
a moments hesitation, the robber shot the
customer.

He then looked around the bank and noticed
one of the tellers looking straight at
him. The robber instantly shot &
killed him also. Everyone in the bank, by
now horrified, stared down at the floor in
silence.

The robber yelled, "Well, did anyone else see
my face?" There was a long moment of dead silence in
which everyone was too terrified
to speak.

Then, one old Coonass named Boudreaux from down the
bayou cautiously raised his hand and said, " I'm
pretty damn sure my wife Cloteele got a good
look at you."

joedog · 10-15-11, 09:25 AM

Bluebasser, Bubba these are great! I love to start my day with a smile and you folks made that very easy today, thanks!

Travery, I hope it turns out better than when I do the same to complete strangers. Usual response, go (skrew) yourself which I reply, "just did, wanna shake on it?"
Thanks again!

bamabassman · 10-15-11, 09:50 AM

BWAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! these are terrific!! done just about ALL of them at oone point of another but i wouldn't take a day away. i like living.lol!!!

10-14-11, 10:41 PM	#1
bluebasser86 BassFishin.Com Veteran Member Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: Gardner, KS Posts: 605	Married guy quotes Stolen from another board: When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. Lee Majors After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. Al Gore By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. Socrates Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them. Mike Tyson The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want? George Clooney I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me. Bill Clinton "Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays." George W. Bush "I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years." Rudy Giuliani "There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage." Michael Jordan "I've had bad luck with all my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn't." The third gave me more children! Donald Trump Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming 1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it, 2. Whenever you're right, shut up. Shaquille O'Neal The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once... Kobe Bryant You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to. David Hasselhoff My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. Alec Baldwin A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. Barack Obama Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy. Tommy Lee A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine." Brad Pitt First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!" Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive." Jimmy Kimmel "Honey, what happened to 'ladies first'?" Husband replies, "That's the reason why the world's a mess today, because a lady went first!" David Letterman "First there's the promise ring, then the engagement ring, then the wedding ring...soon after....comes Suffer...ing! Jay Leno

10-14-11, 10:57 PM	#2
carolina-rig-01 BassFishin.Com Premier Elite Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Webb City, MO Posts: 6,387	HAHAHA those are funny. __________________ You only live once. But if you do it right, once is enough.

10-14-11, 11:07 PM	#3
Tavery5 BassFishin.Com Super Veteran Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Wichita, KS Posts: 2,427	To keep our sex life interesting me and the wife are trying something new to us called hallway sex. When we see each other in the hallway, she says, "screw you" and I reply " screw you too". Unknown Author __________________ They call me Ishmael

10-14-11, 11:13 PM	#4
bcklash BassFishin.Com Super Veteran Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Elliston, Va. Posts: 4,372	These are great. I really liked this one. I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me. Bill Clinton __________________ The soap box, the ballot box, the jury box, and the cartridge box. keep us free:

10-14-11, 11:45 PM	#5
Bassboss BassFishin.Com Premier Elite Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Shawano, WI Posts: 7,761	lmao! Had a good laugh thanks for sharing! __________________ If you can't fix it with heavy squats or fish oil, you're probably going to die.

10-15-11, 06:00 AM	#6
Bubba_Bruiser BassFishin.Com Super Veteran Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: South MS Posts: 3,659	All us married men can easily relate. Here is a bonus: On Friday, A hooded robber burst into a Golden Meadow, LA bank in South Louisiana and, at gunpoint, forced the tellers to load their cash into a plain brown bag. As the robber approached the door, one brave customer grabbed the hood and pulled it off, revealing the robbers face. Without a moments hesitation, the robber shot the customer. He then looked around the bank and noticed one of the tellers looking straight at him. The robber instantly shot & killed him also. Everyone in the bank, by now horrified, stared down at the floor in silence. The robber yelled, "Well, did anyone else see my face?" There was a long moment of dead silence in which everyone was too terrified to speak. Then, one old Coonass named Boudreaux from down the bayou cautiously raised his hand and said, " I'm pretty damn sure my wife Cloteele got a good look at you." __________________ \,,,,/ ROCK ON! HRN4L!

10-15-11, 09:25 AM	#7
joedog BassFishin.Com Super Veteran Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: JANESVILLE,WI. 53545 Posts: 3,415	Bluebasser, Bubba these are great! I love to start my day with a smile and you folks made that very easy today, thanks! Travery, I hope it turns out better than when I do the same to complete strangers. Usual response, go (skrew) yourself which I reply, "just did, wanna shake on it?" Thanks again!

10-15-11, 09:50 AM	#8
bamabassman BassFishin.Com Premier Elite Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: cedar bluff, alabama Posts: 15,292	BWAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! these are terrific!! done just about ALL of them at oone point of another but i wouldn't take a day away. i like living.lol!!! __________________ so many lures, so little time.

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