AP All-America Team

[Lancer6]

Great bunch, but wait! Which conference had the most players selected to the First Team?
The Mighty SEC?...nope.
The Vaunted Big Ten (Well, eleven, actually, but they pretend Punt State's "The Fighting Paternos" aren't there.)...nope.
The PAC(man) Ten?...nawwww.
The A-Cee-Cee?...newp.
Da Whack?...negative.
OK, The Ivy League...are yew kidding?

It...it was...OMG...THE BIG TWELVE!!!
Yais, the Large Dozen placed EIGHT(8, Ocho, etc,) players on the First Team.
And, of further interest, the Big Twelve C'ship game (Okies 38, Misery 17) had higher TV ratings than the SEC C'ship game.
The "No Matter What We Do It's Wrong" Award goes to the Orange Receptacle Selection Committee. They selected Kanzizz U. to participate rather than Mo-Zoo.
Well, KU does have only one loss but it WAS to Mizzeri. And...the Tiggers from Columbia MO WERE the Big 6x2 (or 4x3, if you wanna be picky) North Division Champeens.
"But", I hear you say, "Mizoo had TWO losses and failed to win the Huge Twelve C'ship!" Well, since both losses were to the SAME TEAM (can you say "Sooners"?,) once in the regular season and once in the C'ship tilt, could we not mebbe consider it only ONE loss in a rare eight quarter game (aggregate score Okies 79, M'zew 48)?" Well...no.
So, Miss Uri goes to the once fabled, now disabled, Q-Tip...er, Cotton Bowl
and Kay Yew gets the Big Bucks for playing in the Orange Bowl. It has also been revealed that Kancerous U has not been able to sell their allotment of tickets for the OB(Gyn) Game and some seriously sweet deals are to be had...IF you really, really, REALLY, wanna go to that game. I really, really, REALLY don't.
The "Wow! Did We Poop In The B(c)S's Messkit Or What???" Award is shared by The University of The Pitts and The Fighting Soonists of Okay-lahoma.
By Oh Yew mugging Meau U. (and ending Chased 'n Caught Daniels' Heisman hopes,) in the Big 12 C'ship and Da' Pittstoppers tripping WestByGodVirginny on the same date (12/1, for those who missed it,) the Perfect Picture Painted Prettily by the B(c)S was irreparably marred.
If ever there was a B(c)S C'ship game that will be less rewarding than watching paint dry, this will be the one.

Goooooo, Princeton!