zooker's tips to dating..

[zooker]

foods to avoid
anything with OINONS
bratwurst/polish sausages
mexican food.
anything drippy

let me explain these
onions -cause it NEVER fails you'll be makin out and the one of you are goin to burp up one of these super mood killers..

brats/sausages-these are mans second worst nightmare as the will give you more stinky wind than hurricane can prodouce.

mexican food-typically most of it is a heavily greasy food which tends to prodouce a ton of gas and or frequent bathroom stops..now if your like me and prefure latino females this can't be avoided..

drippy foods- odds are the gal in question spent a load of HER money buying that "tasty" lil outfit she has on. she probly wont like it a whole lot if the food drips on it.and guess whom she will blame?? YOU!!

gettin busted by the parents-uhh howdy do i hate this-but you must remember you are messing with their offspring, and they tend to be VERY protective of it..and yes i recently got busted by the father of a 26 year old. so do not think you grow out of it.


ok those of you with cars.
a few things to have in your ride.

a travel size bottle of scope-nothing like a minty fresh pie hole for lenthy games of tounge hockey

assorted party favors-safe sex is a priority

a bottle or 2 of after shave.
a clean sterile razor.
cause it is going to happen trust me you'll be in a hurry and for get to shave.. a simple stop at gas station rest room.and some running water -we call it dry shaving btw-2 mintues and your good to go.this also helps if your playin more than one girl at a time..

an extra CLEAN sweat shirt.cause a cold gal is cold EVERY WHERE.

the family:

make friends with the rest of family even if you personally can't stand them be nice..
AUNTS especially. if the aunt passes you as a great guy chances of the mom doing so greatly increase. after recent events in my personal life. i am definatly in with the aunt-see sig change-..

the siblins-their brothers and sisters-the parents use them like sneaky lil pi's that report directly back to mommy and daddy.. watch what you say in front of or around them. even if your with "the guys" and your just talkin smack..

as jb eluded to in his understandin woman thread. females HATE seeing other happy females.and the gossip machine being what it is. be prepared for this cause it NEVER goes away,in fact it even gets worst the older the females in question is. and it is more intense the smaller the town you live in is.-the reason i drive OVER 100 miles at times just to see a girl-



any questions? good class dismissed...

zooker

[JB]

zooker,
your repeated references to "gassy n burpin" situations
makes me think you've experienced these and didn't just hear them in the tackleshop

[zooker]

hell yes!! i was makin out with a chick when she burped up greasy oinions eww that taste effectively stone KILLED the mood..

though i did not mention it above i will here..

make sure you drink the same beverage as she does.-reguardless of what it is..

zooker

[JB]

none of your chicks are going to guzzle redbull zooker, ya better stick with milk

[zooker]

i was thinkin more along the lines of beer..

zooker

[WTL]

I'm kinda pissed cause I thought I invented dry shaving, well not really. The family thing is big, but some of this stuff is just difficult to do. Lord help me I cant change, I aint giving up food just cause it causes gas. Hell, beers been causin gas for some odd reason lately, Im sure as **** am not giving up beer...forget it.

[bassfisher02]

Hmm... I dont know about the sausage advice zooker, if the night is a good night it usually involves the girl having some sausage, but maybe thats just in my case!?!?! WOO!!

Though there are plenty of places [well atleast in my case, since the girls in question are 16-17] that you can go that do not involve eating, or much of it anyways. I've had very successful nights grabbing a few sandwiches or publix subs and heading out to the greenway for some star gazing and pinicing.

Though this entire thread humors me, haha.

[CarpMan]

assorted party favors-safe sex is a priority


zooker[/quote]
Zook, I’m reading this interesting post and trying to visualize in my mind what damage a 40 pound sledge hammer would do with very rapid strikes trying to drive a railroad spike. Or better yet, you and the "Little Latino Senorita" getting down to the worm in the tequila bottle and you break out with the “jack hammer”. All I can say is, "Have mercy on the Latino Senoritas in Cid". …. Zook, You’re a piece work. Good article. Carpy

[zooker]

umm seeing there is like what 5 houses in cid-it's THAT big- and i can know every one there..i can can say with out a dout the only latino seen in cid is likely one of mine..

zooker

[flfireman]

What is the world coming too. Dating advice from Zook. Please help us all.

[BigBassin144]

Ok, I knew this was going to be good when I read the title. I was right. (Again) Anyway's that's some helpful advice there Zooker. Infact I'm going to print it out and Laminate it.

[Bass_fishing_girl]

This is really cute!!


San

[1/4 stick]

Well, I'll add a little nugget of wisdom here. If you are going to be drinking beer on the date, just say no to bananas or any banana product, and vise-versa. Combining the two will not only peel the paint off your car, but down right rot the paint from the inside out, killing any chance of using any of the party favors. In fact, the party goods are likely to disenigrate in the midts of the green fog as well.

[flfireman]

Wow, bannanas, green fogs, beer. This is obviously gonna be a rude awakening to some of the younger, up and coming daters. They thought dealing with mom, dad, and pressures of picking the right movie are tough enough.

[1/4 stick]

It definatly puts a damper on the whole relationship.