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Old 06-03-06, 10:20 AM   #1
CarpMan
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 676
Default "Ole Guss" is Forgiven

I told you all about Ole Guss and how he got all messed up with that hogcaller from over at tha state fairl... Before that, Guss was smart enough to stay out of trouble, but now he’s sorta between stop and go... He found a way to sneak over here on our farm with out us known he wuz here and wuz spieing on my sweet thing and got caught.. Polly wuz at tha pond and had to go to tha out house, which wuz built of knoty pine and had lots of knot holes in tha boards for air to escape. Well ole Guss wuz sneaking around that day watching as Polly wuz usen one of them two seaters. We keep an ole deer skinning blade in the out house just fur protection. Polly wuz setting in there and saw somthing comming through one of them knotholes, Polly grabbed that blade and started hacking away, and needless to say, Ole Guss is now a lot shorter than he used to be, and evurbody around here says ole Guss is"just nuts"now. And thats why ole Guss is messed up like he is...And it’s common knowledge around here that when ole Gus sees an outhouse he runs in the opposite direction. But when he sees Polly, he freezes as tho he is eye to eye with a grizley, playing dead hoping that Polly won’t notice him breathing. That boy is pittiful, I tell you he is.
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Polly has forgiven Ole Guss since then, and now he is getting over his embarrassment for what he tried to do to her... The hogcaller has left him, and now he is lonely for friends. After all he is the one with all the scars and no manlyhood to speak of. Polly feels bad that it happened.. He told Elmer he can’t continue with his research and expirments. Said before this happened to him, he was talking to Dr. Pudd over on Coal ridge about a research that a Med group was doing about male sex organs. He said the group was spending lots of money and alot of time studying why the head of a man's manly hood is larger than the shaft. After two years the researchers concluded that the head of a man's manlyhood is larger than the shaft simply was for a womans pleasure. Ole Gus told Dr. Pudd that wasn’t true. Said he did a study on his own free time before he had the encounter with Polly down at the outhouse. Said before that happened, he had expiremented for 6 months and had come to the concolusion that the head of a man's manlyhood was larger than the shaft is so his hand wouldn’t slip off and hit himself in the face. And that right there tells us why Ole Guss always carried around so many black eyes and busted lips. He always told us he got them from falling and tripping into things. And Polly says thats why he doesn't have any front teeth! Because he has knocked em all out. But anyway, he is doing much better now, and he hasn’t had a black eye since he met Polly and her deer skinning blade.
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Last edited by CarpMan; 06-04-06 at 06:25 AM.
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