Please tell me this really isn't where we're at in our country

[joedog]

This morning after fishing I stopped for gas. I was walking up to pay and this beautiful older woman was walking in front of me. As I figured any young man would do, I briskly stepped ahead and grabbed the door and opened it for her and she frooze. She looked at me and a big SMILE came accross her face. She stepped towards me and gave my a big hug and said, "Thank you so very very much. That is the nicest thing a young man has done for me in a long long time. I am so happy I met you in the morning because I'm sure my day is going to be a good one now!"

Later in the day I'm at the grocery store. I walking out with my groceries in hand when a see this small older woman close to doors pulling some small bags from a cart when she turns to me with her groceries in hand and asked if I needed a cart. I said no but I'd be happy to push it down to the cart stall for you. Now this is one of those stores like Walmart where the carts are all against the wall in one area that always seems to be a small walk no matter where your at in the LONG entrance way. I had to re-adjust some bags but they were those plastic things so I just stuck my arm through three of them, stuck my 12-pack under arm and tossed a large package of TP (anticipating a sh**y end to the week) into the cart and returned it. Coming back the young lady is still standing by the door and looks at me and says, " Your a true gentleman and thats a very SWEET thing you did. If there were more like you I think the world would truely"

Now folks, in niether case did I do ANYTHING. I have to open the door anyways, is there some EXTRA effort involved to HOLD IT while someone else ALSO walks in.
I'm a man. Just a regular man. Is there another option when you run into any lady that could use a helping hand. None of these actions even took any brain power, it was just instinct, never so much as gave it any thought WHAT-SO-EVER! Nor did it take any effort what-so-ever.

If my 8 year old grandson didn't react in the same fashion as I did, he and I would be having a long talk on the way home.

So please tell me common courtesy is still alive.
Tell me thats exactly how your Mom taught you to act...and you do as she said.
Please tell me this is instinct.



Is this really where the world is today? These actions are treated as surprises? A polite thank you, yes but hugs and waiting around to tell someone your surprise?

I repeat. I did absolutly nothing!
I want no posts about my direct actions I just want to know....Is it the SAME where you live?

I'm telling you it truely boggles my mind.

[Jrob78]

I don't know, that kind of courtesy is pretty common here. People are generally pretty friendly to each other and holding doors open for ladies is the norm. I've been thanked but never over the top like you describe. I do have some close friends that are from northern states and they occasionally comment on how friendly people are here. Maybe it's a regional thing.

[junyaah]

I too hold open and hold doors for others, I try to be nice and respectful. But i am floored at how rude some people can be when u try to do something nice. I held a door for an older woman a while ago and she never looked up or even mumbled a thank you. Really ticked me off. I slammed the door on her backside and made her launch forward stumbling into a drink display. Not really haha but it was rude. I do notice people doing nice things though and i smile and appreciate it even though its not for me.

[1/4 stick]

The other night I had gone to the kwick stop and was coming back, when I saw one of the girls that works there walking down the street. (Didn't realize she was walking home when I saw her in the parking lot or I'd have told her to hang on). Anyway, it was dark and there's been some bad crimes against women around where I live. The soldier that disappeared a few months ago lived right behind me. Last Friday some one broke into an apt in the same place she lived and sexually assaulted the woman that lived there, and the same thing happened up the road. So I sure won't gonna let her walk home without offering her a ride. She got in and I just casually asked if her car was broke down. She said no her bf had it. I assumed he was working and said nothing else about it. She asks me to stop and let her out a street over from where she lived. I asked if she was sure, she said yeah her bf was home and she did'nt want to get in trouble for getting a ride from another man.
So this J*****s was home and too sorry to drive 5 mins to keep his gf from walking home in the dark with all that stuff going on around here... I fear that yes, this is what the world is coming to.

[junyaah]

that really irked me. Why do women get with guys like that and stay. Guys like that are nothing. To make her walk to work and home while he lays on the couch all day says a lot about what kind of man he is.

[joedog]

Originally Posted by 1/4 stick

The other night I had gone to the kwick stop and was coming back, when I saw one of the girls that works there walking down the street. (Didn't realize she was walking home when I saw her in the parking lot or I'd have told her to hang on). Anyway, it was dark and there's been some bad crimes against women around where I live. The soldier that disappeared a few months ago lived right behind me. Last Friday some one broke into an apt in the same place she lived and sexually assaulted the woman that lived there, and the same thing happened up the road. So I sure won't gonna let her walk home without offering her a ride. She got in and I just casually asked if her car was broke down. She said no her bf had it. I assumed he was working and said nothing else about it. She asks me to stop and let her out a street over from where she lived. I asked if she was sure, she said yeah her bf was home and she did'nt want to get in trouble for getting a ride from another man.
So this J*****s was home and too sorry to drive 5 mins to keep his gf from walking home in the dark with all that stuff going on around here... I fear that yes, this is what the world is coming to.

That &^*$@ing piece of SH&% will never be a man and I pity the poor women that feel there is nothing better out there.
Piece of crap knows it too, why do you think that piece o S&*^ is so freaking jealous. He knows even a RABID skunk would make a better partner.

If I had more time I'd tell you all how I really feel. I wouldn't hold back as I already did! But fortunatly the fish are calling my name.
PIECE OF ****!

[kennethdaysale]

I believe it's a regional thing but eroding quickly. Here in the Charlotte area the "locals" are quickly becoming scarce. While not quite like Atlanta or Dallas yet, it is very shall we say diverse. I enjoy many aspects of that diversity, I like meeting and getting to know people from all over the country and world. The truth is though that Southern Hospitality isn't a myth, I've seen it. Of course you can't just make sweeping judgements about people, (oh my they're from NY they're gonna be rude, selfish, fast talking types) or (they're local they'd probably give you the shirt off their back). Some of the meanest people I know are born and raised Charlotteans and some of the best just moved here from Buffallo to find a better life. I think the propensity for common courtesy or rudeness really depends more on someones state of mind. Optimistic, happy, self assured people seem to be more courteous than unhappy paranoid people, regardless of race, color, creed, wealth or state/country of origin.

Regarding sticks experience, losers like the bf on the couch have been around forever. They find women that for any number of reasons have the absolute lowest self esteem possible.....initially pay them a compliment or give them a little attention and then..................

[nofearengineer]

No victims...only volunteers, guys.

Stop worrying about the women who stick with losers. They are definitely getting something out of the relationship...what it is, I will never understand but hey...they made their bed, let them lie in it.

As for opening doors for people (not just women), it will always be a nice thing to do. If you ever get some stupid militant feminist who gets insulted and lips off to you, just say "have a nice day" and walk off. That probably ticks them off more.

[Dogmatic]

It's DEAD!!! Remember, from another conversation, "we're all on our own, if we succeed, we do it by ourselves, with no help from anyone else(especially the Government)." It's a symptom of globalization, changing economy, our transforming communities, societal isolation, and political polarization. America! America! America! Remember when we were all in this together?

*and people from NYC are a**holes.

[Abbeysdad]

Any average man can appear to be great in the eyes of a woman that's been taken for granted, neglected or abused... a common courtesy appears like so much more.
Now the first woman that gave you the appreciative hug seemingly also had needs...maybe you should have asked her if she needed anything done at home - lol

As far as folks from NYC... you need to consider life in a big city vs. small country towns. The city is full of strangers and some are stranger than others!

[bamabassman]

i have ALWAYS opened doors for ladies...no matter what their age. it's called RESPECT and how one was raised. heck, i even open and often hold a door for someone when i am walking out they are 20 feet walking in. common decency. and yes i am afraid it IS declining.

[bassboogieman]

I always hold the door, ladies, gentlemen, children, dogs it don't matter, I treat them all the same - It's my job.

[Bassboss]

Well, as a member of the younger generation, being geltmanly is dying among us kids, unless someone's trying to get into a girls pants.

But I can promise you this, it's still live and well in me. My folks raised me up well, holding doors, please, and thank you, helping where ever you can... the whole 9 yards!

[bamabassman]

good to hear sam. hopefully you can be an inspriation for your peers.

[joedog]

Nice to hear a young mans view point.
Keep it up!

[Dogmatic]

Whatever happen to referring to your elders as "sir" and "mame "?

[bamabassman]

i STILL say "sir" and "ma'am". but i agree, most of the younger generation does not. i believe they think that it's too old fashioned and not "hip" anymore or that it demeans them in some way. i jsut shake my head a tthem. soetimes i say FOR THEM. then they will say "i'm sorry." laughing of course. they have no idea.........

[Top Tiger]

Every generation says that the next one is going to hell in a handcart. I'll venture that most of us had our parents say that very thing. I know that mine did; just as I do now. Most folks grow into manners and respect long after parents begin to believe that there's no hope for the little monsters. I don't think it's regional so much as plain old human nature.

[joedog]

Top Tiger, point well taken.

My Mom on the otherhand would of sent ME to hell in a handcart if she would of witness me neglecting respect and manners.
Heck we even had to set the table with TWO forks a knife and spoon. Like we ever had a use for a salad fork and you know 'she's never going let you use a knife', butter knife or not.
The salad fork made a great DESSERT FORK though, of course thats only if you hadn't reached for anything during the meal. You simply ask the person if 'they would be so kind as to pass the wanted item, and the mandatory Thank You.!

What a great lady!

Kevin, thanks for the memories!

[bassinbob]

I love holding the door open for young ladies. The rear view is just as good as the front view. Really I will do all the gentlemanly things when the occasion calls for them. I don't remember if I was taught this by my parents or whatever i just know it's a nice thing to do for anyone. The trouble is with all the political correctness you sometimes have to measure the steps taken as not to offend anyone. So far I've been lucky and have not had anyone react negativly to my doing a good deed. To hear the "Thank yous'" is reward enough.

[USMCbassman]

Out here in Kalifornia you are the odd man if you hold doors, say please and thank you or use sir or ma'am.

Guess what....I am that odd man out here. I use it all, hold doors for women and children and even some men.

Now here's what pisses me off to no end; when I am holding the door for my wife and kids and some guy/d-bag/a-hole cuts in front of my wife and kids as he thinks I'm holding the door for him. I have gone toe to toe (with out blows) with many men out here because I will speak up and I do....EVERY TIME!

I see myself as the leader and protector of my family; I always walk behind my family while in stores so I can provide (as we in the Marine Corps call it) over watch on them and be prepared to act if someone tries to harm them. Even with Marines, my wife and kids will be looking at something and instead of walking behind them they will walk in front of them without saying excuse me. Again, I speak up and I blatantly ask anyone, "did your parents not teach you proper manners?" They are dumbfounded and don't know what to say.

Another thing that gets my goat is when a man "drops" a door on a woman or children, mine, theirs or someone elses; again I speak up!

I'm not cocky or arrogant just confident in who I am and hope to put in at least one persons mind next time they go to get a door they'll stop and think about it or use proper manners when necessary.

I'll never forget the time I was back home visiting and made a run to wally world, there was an older gentlemen walking in in front of me. He grabbed the door and held it open for me. As he opened the door I reached around him to grab the door so he could go on in and he looked at me and said, "go on in young man I got this." I smiled and promptly followed with, "Thank you, sir....have a great day!" He simply smile back and said, "my pleasure, you as well!" This was 8 or 9 years ago and I still remember it like it was yesterday.

That's my rant on it....I don't believe it is dead, it is dying and only hope I can pass it on to my son and my daughters as what to expect out of a man.

[WTL]

The problem is when you hold the door, and some women's lib activist looks at you like you are the devil...those times I guess I am holding the door out of spite.

Since coming out west for the summer, I have held the door and had girls be very sweet and nice about it, and others give me the evil eye. Strange times.

[MississippiBoy]

I remember taking a public speaking class in college, and a class discussion somehow got around to manners and politeness. One of my female classmates, who was originally from Mississippi, said she used to work at a bank in (I think) Arizona, and said she would have all kinds of problems saying "ma'am" to her female customers. It's apparently seen as insulting, calling them older or matronly or whatever, instead of being merely respectful, as she intended. She was.....reprimanded is too strong of a word.....maybe counseled? or advised? by her managers about that, and really had to make an effort to stop saying it.
At my work, I call everyone "ma'am" or "sir," even teenagers that are 15-20 years younger than I am.

[nofearengineer]

The national pastime used to be baseball. Now it is outrage over invented slights.

[IUbass]

I agree with Sam. The younger generation we live in has honestly I think became more lazy, and selfish. I didn't grow up in the old days, but I'm assuming that status is more of a symbol now, and with that I believe comes selfishness, especially among the youth. Again assuming they are trying to show the status (i.e. not holding the door open because they look not as cool doing it etc.) I could be wrong, just my stance. But from what I have realized (its almost like those commercials where one person does a good deed and someone sees it they do a good deed) people do notice! Even if you arent praised when you do something, people notice. For example, I hold the door open at a store. Others notice, as well as the people you are with. That will stick in their minds the most. I especially think when the older generation sees that they get a feeling of reassurance, and that reassurance can almost bring a trusting feeling. It just makes you feel good.

As far as me, I try to be the most kind person I can, whether it is opening doors, saying no maam yes sir. Even if people dont praise it, they do notice and appreciate it, and that alone is a good enough reason for me. Being raised that way helped. All I have to say to the new generations is if you dont do this, start, it will become a habit and will make you a better person.