08-11-06, 07:26 PM | #1 |
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Join Date: Jun 2003
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Retirement Fun-got this in an email
Dear Mrs. Spencer,
Over the past six months, your husband, Mr. Larry Spencer, has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this type of behavior and have considered banning your entire family from shopping in any of our stores. We have documented all these incidents with our video surveillance equipment. Three of our clerks are now attending counseling for the emotional stress caused from the trouble your husband has created. All of our complaints against Mr. Spencer have been compiled and are listed below. Mr. Wally Zimbrowski, Wal-Mart Complaint Department Carthage, MO MEMO Re: Mr. Larry Spencer - Complaints 15 Things Mr. Bates has done while his wife is shopping 1. June 15 Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they were not looking. 2. July 2 Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to individually go off at 5-minute intervals. 3. July 7 Made a trail of pineapple juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms. 4. July 19 Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, "'Code 3' in housewares..." and watched to see what would happen. 5. August 4 Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's on lay away. 6. September 14 Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. 7. September 15 Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he would invite them in if they would bring pillows from the bedding department. 8. September 23 When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins to cry and asks, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?" 9. October 4 Looked right into the security camera, used it as a mirror, and picked his nose. 10. November 10 While handling guns in the hunting department, asked the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are. 11. December 3 Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme. 12. December 6 In the auto department, he practiced his Madonna look" using different size funnels. 13. December 18 Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled "PICK ME! PICK ME!" 14. December 21 When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he fell to the floor in the fetal position and while loudly sucking his thumb, screamed "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!" (And, last, but not least!) 15. December 23 Went into a fitting room, shut the door and waitedseveral minutes. Then, yelled, very loudly, "There's no toilet paper in here!"
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It's happened to the best of them: John 21:3 |
08-11-06, 07:52 PM | #2 |
BassFishin.Com Veteran Member
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llllllllllllloooooooollllll!
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08-11-06, 07:53 PM | #3 |
BassFishin.Com Super Veteran
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Jacksonville Florida
Posts: 2,840
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Awww man that's funny...
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R.I.P. Zooker |
08-11-06, 08:16 PM | #4 |
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Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Dubuque, IA
Posts: 108
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Thanks for some great ideas.
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08-11-06, 08:43 PM | #5 |
BassFishin.Com Active Member
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Fredericksburg,Virginia
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Im goin to Wal-Mart tomorrow
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08-12-06, 07:36 AM | #6 |
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Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Virginia
Posts: 630
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that's great
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Does anyone know of a fishing addictions program? Cause I need one. |
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