A little humor for NO FEAR

[Ebbetsguy]

ENGINEER JOKES


Hey Bryce; this came from an email , Thought you might like some of these

Understanding Engineers - Take One

Two engineering students were walking across a university campus when
one said, 'Where did you get such a great bike?'
The second engineer replied, 'Well, I was walking along yesterday,
minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike,
threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, 'Take what
you want.'
The second engineer nodded approvingly and said, 'Good choice; the
clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway.'

Understanding Engineers - Take Two

To the optimist, the glass is half full.
To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.
To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.


Understanding Engineers - Take Three

A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a
particularly slow group of golfers.
The engineer fumed, 'What's with those blokes? We must have been waiting
for fifteen minutes!'
The doctor chimed in, 'I don't know, but I've never seen such inept
golf!' The priest said, 'Here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word
with him.'
He said, 'Hello, George! what's wrong with that group ahead of us?
They're rather slow, aren't they?'
The greens keeper replied, 'Oh, yes. That's a group of blind fire
fighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last
year, so we always let them play for free anytime.'

The group fell silent for a moment.
The priest said, 'That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for
them tonight.'
The doctor said, 'Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist
colleague and see if there's anything he can do for them.'
The engineer said, 'Why can't they play at night?'


Understanding Engineers - Take Four

What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?
Mechanical engineers build weapons and civil engineers build targets.

Understanding Engineers - Take Five

The graduate with a science degree asks, 'Why does it work?'
The graduate with an engineering degree asks, 'How does it work?'
The graduate with an accounting degree asks, 'How much will it cost?'
The graduate with an arts degree asks, 'Do you want fries with that?'

Understanding Engineers - Take Six

Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it.

Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough
features yet.

Understanding Engineers - Take Seven

An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him
and said,' If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess.'

He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.
The frog spoke up again and said, 'If you kiss me and turn me back into
a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week.'

The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned
it to the pocket.

The frog then cried out, 'If you kiss me and turn me back into a
Princess, I'll stay with you for one week and do ANYTHING you want.'

Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into
his pocket.

Finally, the frog asked, 'What is the matter? I've told you I'm a
beautiful princess, and that I'll stay with you for one week and do
anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?'

The engineer said, 'Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a
girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool.'

[nofearengineer]

Heard em all, but still love 'em. Thanks Dom.

[Tavery5]

There was one they use to tell when I was still turning wrenches. What do you call a bus load of engineers going over a cliff with the back seat empty. A crying shame..... there was room for a least two more.

[bamabassman]

hahahahaha, having a father who is a structurel detailer (not and enginneer), i too have heard these. but like bryce said, great jokes. dad can tell you hundreds of em. trust me, i heard them all.lol.

[JESTERxHEAD]

hahahahahahahaha.....yea these never get old....

good stuff guys...

[Cavs1123]

Those are great!!!!!

[bassboogieman]

Crap, I thought NFE drove a train..............................
I mean, he had to get a license and all.
Guess I'll just have to return the gift I bought him for Wheeler.

[bamabassman]

Bring it boogieman!!!!

[nofearengineer]

Sigh....must I give my "origins of the term 'engineer'" lecture again?

An Engineer's cap is an honor....not a slam at all. Back in the 1800's, the guy who "drove the train" was often a very respected man, as it took a lot of skill, not to mention a very good education to be able to keep a locomotive engine running, and running safely. Morons were not trusted with such an expensive piece of machinery, and the lives of passengers.

Today, people think of driving a train as sort of an insult, as you don't even have to steer, right? What a bunch of doofuses LOL.

And Thomas is pretty cool too haha.

[bamabassman]

bryce i wanna picture of you wearing this cap. nuff said ok? lol. and yes a train engineer does have to steer. got a cousin who is or was (think he is retired now) a train engineer. he said oyu wouldn't believe some of the other trains he has had to dodge. BWAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

seriously though, i STILL would love to be a train engineer. i think that would be such a cool job. or at least the conducter. "ticket please. no ticket?" throws em off the train.lol.

[CiK]

As an engineer myself..........I resemble those remarks. LOL