2 Mooks In A Boat or How Not To Operate Power Boat Or Foot Controlled Trolling Motor

[Ebbetsguy]

When I went on the Bassresource trip to Fork Lake in 2007 :
I had never ran a boat that was not tiller controlled or a foot controlled trolling motor
Party of the first part; Me and my fishing partner ( Ron) get into our rented Tracker with a steering wheel and a 35 HP Motor / foot controlled trolling motor.
I,m driving, we start it up and the hull goes straight up in the air and I can’t see, I figured maybe we were supposed to take the seats off, so I say hey lets lower the seats, Ron takes over driving , same thing. Now there are 2 boats next to us, with experienced boaters, the closest contains Brent ( owner of Alluring Baits and Russ aka Low Budget Hookers) and they decide we are going to be more entertaining that the Fork Monsters, so they follow us.
Ron tries to cut through some standing timber, to get some help from some boaters next to us, not that Brent and Russ would do anything, they are just in this for a laugh. We did not know about the marker buoys to stay in boating lanes, and the other boaters are waving us off, of course we think the are just waiving so full throttle, nose straight up and we go through the standing timber.
Now Russ and Brent, you remember them: they decide before we kill ourselves, they will intervene. We cut off the boat , they pull along side and Russ comes in our boat and asks’ Don’t you know how to trim an engine” me , being Mr. Polite say” I don’t have a scissors how the @#!$) and I gonna trim it?” Russ shows us the trim switch, we do it twice and off into the lake we go, with the other 2 mooks still behind us. Ron is now driving and it is windy so ½ the ^*#@$#) Lake is coming in the boat, Ron ain’t exactly popeye the *#(#*)# Sailor either, when we stop, now its time to put on the trolling motor
Party of the second Part: Foot controlled trolling motor; What the &#$(!!!!! How does this work????????
I see everyone zipping around and figure “ How hard can this Be? “ God forbid I ask anyone. So I am up front, figure out how to flip it into the water, now HOW TO WORK THIS THING????
It seems like a big gas peddle. So I mash it down only to find us turning in a never ending right turn, in a &^@#$()* circle. I am really getting frustrated as Russ and Brent are howling and Ron is not coming up with a better plan. I have no idea that the knobs on the peddle controls the speed and the toe/heel thingy controls the direction. Once again Russ and Brent intervene, by this point I am so pissed off if I could have thrown the motor into the Fork, it would have been on the bottom.
Russ Asked” Do you need help, do you know how to work that thing? “ laughing the whole time
So they get up to us I stop but I am so *#$@#()* Frustrated by this time ; THIS IS WHAT I SAD, IT HAS MADE BASSRESOURCE HISTORY AND IT WAS TOO LATE TO TAKE IT BACK
MY ANSWER;;;;; THE HARDER I PRESS THE RIGHTER I GO” YEA THAT’S WHAT I SAID, NO TAKING THAT ONE BACK
　
Party of the third part: Me and Ron , living up to our name; 2 MOOKS IN A BOAT, start to head back, we forgot to take the front seat down, so the boat vibration and wind rip it out, Ron is driving so it winds up in my lap, and sinks 2 of the 3 barbs of a Rapala #11 into my leg. Russ come up again and NO MERCY HERE, he and Brent ask if we could reenact this so they can get it on video. I had enough , we went in.