stupid joke

[Infisherman1]

A sailor met a pirate, and they started to talk about their adventures at sea. Â*The sailor noticed that the pirate had a peg leg, a hook, and an eye patch. Â*The sailor asked, "So how did you end up with that peg leg?"
The pirate replied," We were in a storm at sea and I was sept overboard into a school of sharks. Just as my men wee pulling me out, a shark bit my leg off."
"Wow!" exclaimed the sailor. "How did you get that hook?"
"Well" the pirate replied, "we boarded an enemy ship and were battling the other sailors with swords. One of them cut off my hand."
"Incredible!" remarked the sailor. "and what about the eye patch?"
"A seagull pooped in my eye," replied the pirate.
"You lost your eye because of a seagull dropping?" asked the sailor in surprise.
"Well," said the ppirate, "it was my first day with the hook."

Bad Johnny's first day in third grade math class.Teacher calls on him and asks"There are 7 birds on a fence.You shoot one,how many are left?Johnny answers back"0".Teacher says "how do you figure?"Johnny says"If you shoot one,the noise scares the others away".Teacher says"sorry Johnny the answer is 6,but I like the way you think"Johnny says"ok I have a question for you.Three women on a bench eating popsicles.One is licking hers,one is sucking on hers and one is chewing on hers.Which one is married?"The teacher thinks and answers"the one sucking on her popsicle"Johnny says"wrong,the one wearing the wedding band,but I like the way you think!!!"

[jeffman]

Fishin' Southern style


Boudreaux been fish'n down by the bayou all day and he done run out of night crawlers. He be 'bout ready to leave when he done seen a snake wid a big frog in his mouf. He knowed dat dem big bass like frogs, so he 'cided to steal dat froggie.
Dat snake, he be a big ol' cotton mouf water moccasin, so Boudreaux knowed dat he had to be real careful or he done gonna get snake bit. He snuk up 'hind dat snake and grabbed him roun' de haid. Dat ol' snake din't lak dat one bit. He squirmed and twisted and wrapped hissef roun ol' Boudreaux's arm and squeezed, trying to get hissef free. But Boudreaux, him hada real good grip on that snakes haid.
Well, Boudreaux pried the snakes mouf open and stole dat frog out'n de snakes mouf and put it in his bait can. Now Boudreaux know'd dat he caint let go dat snake or he done gonna get snake bit, for shore. But Budreaux, he done had a plan. He reached into de back pocket of his overalls and pulls out a pint o' moonshine likker and pour a little bit in de snakes mouf. Well, dat snakes eyeballs roll back in his haid and his body go limp all over. Boudreaux den throwed dat snake into de bayou, baits his hook wid dat froggie and goes to fishin'.
A little while later, Boudreaux dun feel sumpin tappin on his barefoot toe. He slowly look down and dare was dat water moccasin snake wif two more frogs in his mouf.

JackL

[fredhatch]

Good one.

[bearpaw]

Why did the chicken cross the road ?

To show the opossum that it COULD be done.

[Rob Mak]

playing bumper tag with a possum is a state sport here anit it bassman?


zooker

[bearpaw]

Seen more dead ones than you can count.
Often times there right in the way of the tires !

[bearpaw]

Q. When geese are flying they are normally in a "V" type pattern.
When in this "V" why is one side longer than the other ?




A. More geese on that side !

[randerson52]

joke for the hunters out there

HOW COME BEER NUTS ARE $1.50 but DEER NUTS ARE TWO FOR A BUCK?

[ryan7261]

Comin' 'Cross the Ohio River

There was a Kentucky redneck and an Ohio buckeye, fishing on their respective sides of the Ohio river. Just as soon as the redneck put his line in the water, he slung a fish onto the bank, and the buckeye was catching nothing, so he yelled across to the redneck, ''Buddy, I'd sure like to be on your side of the river!''

''Aight, tell ya whut, I'll shine my flashlight 'cross this river, and you can walk across this little beam of light!'' the redneck yelled back.

The buckeye replied, ''Hain't no way, buddy. I know you think I'm a fool! When I get halfway 'cross, you'll turn your flashlight off!''


:P :-X ;D

Robby