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Old 03-08-05, 11:22 PM   #1
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Location: North Carolina
Posts: 137
Default Couple of jokes!!

A woman went into a store to buy her husband a pet for his birthday.

After looking around, she found all the pets were very expensive. She told the clerk she wanted to buy a pet, but she didn't want to spend a fortune.

"Well," said the clerk, "I have a very large bullfrog. They say it's been trained to give oral se#."

"Oral se#?" the woman exclaimed.

"I haven't witnessed it myself, but we've sold 30 of them this month," he said.

The woman was skeptical, but thought it would be a great gag gift, so she bought the frog. When she explained the frog's ability to her husband,
he was even more skeptical than his wife and laughed it off.

In the middle of the night, the woman was awakened by the noise of pots and pans flying everywhere, making deafening sounds. She ran downstairs to the kitchen, only to discover her husband and the frog reading cookbooks.

"What are you two doing at this hour?" she asked.

The husband replied, "If I

can teach this frog to cook, you're gone."
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Old 03-08-05, 11:22 PM   #2
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Location: North Carolina
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Default Re: Couple of jokes!!

You may not know that many nonliving things have a gender.

For example:

1) Ziploc Bags -- They are Male, because they hold everything in,
but you can see right through them.

2) Copiers -- They are Female, because once turned off, it takes
a while to warm them up again. It's an effective reproductive device if
the right buttons are pushed, but can wreak havoc if the wrong buttons
are pushed.

3) Tire -- Male, because it goes bald and it's often

4) Hot Air Balloon -- Male, because, to get it to go anywhere,
you have to light a fire under it, and of course, there's the hot air

5) Sponges -- Female, because they're soft, squeezable and retain

6) Web Page -- Female, because it's always getting hit on.

7) Subway -- Male, because it uses the same old lines to pick
people up.

8) Hourglass -- Female, because over time, the weight shifts to
the bottom.

9) Hammer -- Male, because it hasn't changed much over the last
5,000 years, but it's handy to have around.

10) Remote Control -- Female...... Ha! You thought it'd be male.
But consider this -- it gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it,
and while he doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he keeps
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Old 03-09-05, 12:45 AM   #3
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Default Re: Couple of jokes!!

So was your wife watching you type this or did she just move you away from the computer and do it herself. 8)
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