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Old 10-07-07, 02:36 PM   #1
JB
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Default JB's Guide To Women, Part2

We've got a bunch of young guys running around these parts, so I thought that it might be worthwhile for a little older guy to impart some knowledge to the young bucks in hopes that it will greatly increase their chances of finding, and ultimately enjoying a long, lasting, successful relationship with a good woman... while they're not fishing, of course....
Item 1: Do not listen to what women have to say about other women. They are not privy to the keen powers of self-introspection, nor are they honest when the mirror paints the picture of womanhood in a less-than-flattering light. If women were to be trusted about how they tick, we'd all have it figured out, and women everywhere would be happy. Society is afraid of saying these things. Women have been led to believe they are a noble half of the human race, and more suited to matters of the heart. Fact is, they're just as clueless as you. Next.

Item 2: Women are 95% a product of the early childhood relationship (or lack thereof) between they and their fathers. Men are made by their mothers, women by their dads. If daddy beat them, left them, or subjected them to any other scumbag behavior, you had better believe they will not have healthy impulses and chaos will follow them throughout their days. This is an absolute, so trust me when I say, if they don't have a healthy relationship with pops, they're not having one with you either, Yes, they're going to be fun in the sackeroo, but trust me.... in amost all but the most extreme cases, run. That other 5% of their nature comes from lucky genetics, but you're not turning that into anything by yourself. You ain't fixing a broken girl, so just run.

Item 3: To attract women, you need but one thing....to be in charge. Not necessarily of the world or the building you work in, but in charge of your surroundings. You need to be in charge of whatever setting you and the womenz will be in. In any herd of animals, the females obey the alpha. You must be, no matter what the situation, the "guy". You might need to be the funny guy, or the cool guy, or the host, or the entertainer, or even the "taken" one, but you had better be the center of attention that day. To be this thing, you need some confidence, you need your **** in order, and you need some sort of talent that will put you in the alpha spot - no matter if that's at the library or at the night club. Women do not fawn at the slowest, weakest gazelle. They look at what's running out front, and follow. Get your life in order. Women are not laying in the tub right now letting the water hit the pink parts dreaming about a gaming dork playing Rainbow Six in his mom's basement. You follow? This leads me to item 4.

Item 4: Women, real women, do not want a boy. They want a man, so be one. Don't get punk kid haircuts, tribal tats, spinners for your ghey car, the latest trendy clothes or skin care products. These are the tools of vain boys, and a woman does not want these things from you even if she acts like she does. You may get some dates, you may get laid, you may even get married by being a boy..... but bet your *** that your woman will dream of a true man (which is not you).

Item 5: Women, contrary to some legends, do not want sex that often... especially once the relationship cools off (normalizes). If they do crave the weenie all the time, they are messed up (see item... 1). Women do not have testosterone pumping through their organs, and will not crave sex, at least not like you think they do. Get used to it, deal with it, and make your peace with the fact that a normal woman wants sex about 1/10th as much as you. Sadly, the sexaholic women are usually reliving some sort of childhood trauma, and sex gives them control over their neuroses about that past. See, women have sex for very different reasons than we do. They have it to feel sexy, to feel loved, to feel wanted, even to feel in charge....but they don't have that physical drive like us. We, by contrast, have sex to purge the evil venom from our balls, and that's about the extent of it.

Item 6: There is nothing a woman can sniff out like desperation. If you have even one tiny cell of creepy in you, she'll smell it all over you like a possum carcass in the sun. One of the lessons of adulthood is RELAX. Do it, for all our sakes. Don't chase women, for there is no need. Be a man, be yourself, have a good time and get your life in order, and the women will forever come to you. Believe this fellas.....nothing could be truer. If young Freak would have only known this.... but that's another story and it involves copious masturbation and alot of Boone's Farm.

Item 7: Most women will have you convinced, if you talk to them enough, that they are the masters of reason and emotion. Bull****, fellas. They are contriving, maniacal masters of chaos and will even work feverishly against their own happiness. Nothing will disturb most woman so deeply to her core as true contentment. Some women shudder at the thought of a placid, pleasing life. It's a very rare thing, a young lady at peace and comfortable with herself....so when you find one, say "I do" and keep her away from other women. Wanna see proof of this? Work along side a lot of women. When one finds any small ray of happiness, the others go about dismantling hers with ant-like industry. Nothing on earth is quite so destructive as women screwing with a happy one. It's a pretty safe bet that if your lady friends hang out with other girls, they will try (even unwittingly), to mess you up in the worst way. Sorry girls, you know this one is true.

Item 8: Get to know your prospective inlaws....even if you have no idea you're going to marry the girl you're banging. In most cases, if you don't love them like they're your own parents, RUN. Seriously, it's that simple. Run. Look at their relationship - her mother and father's. Look at it hard, because in most circumstances, that's you in 25 years....or some variation of it. Your woman will make sure of it, because she's hard wired to.

Item 9: Most woman's beauty is her worst enemy, and her only true servant. Be very afraid of a woman who has relied, or counted on her looks to survive or succeed - for when those looks or your attention to them wanes, she will self-destruct before your eyes. You will come home to find her gone, or on top of your best friend. Again, not to drive a point too fine, but stay away from the 10's. A stripper model does not live to enjoy a 50 year wedding anniversary, and she will not change your diapers when you're old. Believe it or not, that stuff really matters. You, like women, are driven by your nature. If you're always attracted to the worst kind of women, it's not their fault bucko. It's yours....so fight your impulses and go with what's smart not what "feels good".

Item 10: Lastly, I leave you with this. It's a difficult lesson to be a man. It's a painful, self-sacrificing labor and part of the human condition to be a man. You must accept that much of your life and your ties to women rely on your honor and your good nature. Sadly, most of us choose our mates based on nothing more than a tiny dab of sexual experience and a lot of ignorance about human nature. The women you meet, fall in love with, screw, and hurt, are all human beings with complex pasts, desires and dreams. Treat each woman, no matter who she is, as if she is your best friend's girl. Give her respect, even if you don't choose to engage her in a meaningful way. Understand that she is a daughter, a sister and someone's baby and if she's not good enough to be kind to, then leave her alone. Your dealings with women will come back to haunt you, and each ****ty act will be revisited on you, or your children, or your future women. Trust me here...it really happens. Be a good man, a smart man and an observant man, and women will not be a source of pain in your life. Take my word on it.
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Old 10-07-07, 04:24 PM   #2
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This needs to be on a bumper sticker.JB this is dead on.And remember if the woman ain't happy no one is happy...so Make sure your girl/wife is happy.As much as this is gonna kill you turn the tv off and listen to your wife/girl when the need an ear. One thing about us men,When our girl/wife has a problem we are quick to give them answers to there problems...guys they don't want this they just want us to listen and care....really.Always hold there hands.Ive been hold mine for 19 years...it shows her I still care and she is still of value to me.I will once in a while leave a not that just simply say's I love you and you won't believe how my wife lights up.I tell her she is so pretty/beautiful...because she is.Compliment your wifeKiss your wife everyday before you leave for work,tell her you love her,3 short kiss's not a little peck.make sure you do things she likes ,take interest.And she will start meeting you half way like wise.Respect..respect..respect.
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Old 10-07-07, 04:44 PM   #3
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Denny,
its a proven fact that 4 out of 5 bassfishin.com anglers that followed
this advise 18 months ago when I first posted it are now bonified single men again! lol
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Old 10-07-07, 05:29 PM   #4
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jb
ITEM #8 is SO dead on..it is definatly the#1 thing to invest time on in a relationship. getting the girl is easy. getting her folks to like you is the hardest part..

i'll admitt that my taste run toward the freaky side...this is just my personal flavor..

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Old 10-07-07, 05:39 PM   #5
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Freaky side......I'm listening Mr Zooker,like getting a nun drunk,shaving a Bob Evans cashiers mastach off,dating a 90 year old.....I need some clues. lol..lol. Denny
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Old 10-07-07, 05:42 PM   #6
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'll admitt that my taste run toward the freaky side...this is just my personal flavor..

zooker

Zooker,
You sayin' that your tongue runs wild for the most part LMFAO
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Old 10-07-07, 07:19 PM   #7
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nope denny not THAT odd.. most of the gals i chase are loud and fast- gothic/punk- chicks, but for some reason.-call it getting old-i am leaning heavily toward the latino flavor as of late..trading in the fiery for the spice..i find latino woman to be more of a challenge.. and i love a good challenge..

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Old 10-07-07, 08:15 PM   #8
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When a woman says you don't listen what she realy means is you don't understand. You can hear everything she says but you have to pay attention and understand. How to understand? By caring. If you don't care your relationship will suffer. Some women want certain things in a relationship, i.e. clean hair and bodies, nice clothes, clean and white teeth. Then there are women who want show things, i.e. money, power, hard bodies. The most important thing is getting their attention by attraction. Be funny, and as stated above be a man and not a wuss. Have fun with a woman. Treat her like a good friend. Some want treated like a queen. If that's your bag go for it. Above all once you attract a woman and want to hold on keep the attraction up.
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Old 10-07-07, 11:00 PM   #9
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D*mmit JB, you broke the first rule in trying to convey information to the teenage audience, dont post HUMONGOUS threads!!

With all joking aside, I'll have to get back to this when I have more time to read it.
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Old 10-08-07, 05:23 PM   #10
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yeah jb you know teenages have the same attention span as your lab..

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Old 10-08-07, 05:48 PM   #11
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Zooker,
exactly why I'll make millions with my own cliff notes rofl, I'll sell them to all the slackers out there that wanna be a born again ladies man

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Old 10-09-07, 06:52 PM   #12
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I think you need to somehow combine JB's Guide with Zooker's Guide to Dating and see what you get!!!!! The next National Best Seller????
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Old 10-14-07, 01:49 PM   #13
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JB once again I applaud your insight and hope many of the young people here will read this and share it with their friends. Maybe they can save themselves some misery.
I have had the crazy, good looking basket cases, and yes they are fun for a while.
But after the glitter rubs off, you get stuck with a freak and it takes half of your sanity, and most of your money to extricate yourself from the situation.
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Old 10-14-07, 05:37 PM   #14
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you got that right bo, most of the glitter girls end up carrying "emotional baggage" of on kind or another.............
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