Your Daily Chuckle

coldbasser · 11-30-11, 08:00 PM

Your morning smile ~ Newfoundland Declares War On The U.S.A.

President Barack Obama was in the Oval Office when his telephone rang.

"Hallo, President Obama" a heavily accented voice said. "This is Archie, up ere at the Harp Seal Pub in Badger's Cove,Newfoundland, Canada, eh. I am callin' to tells ya dat we are officially declaring war on ya!"

"Well Archie," Barack replied, "This is indeed important news!
How big is your army?"

"Right now," said Archie, after a moments calculation "there is myself, me cousin Harold, me next-door-neighbor Mick, and the whole dart team from the pub. That makes eight!"

Barack paused. "I must tell you Archie that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command."

"Wow," said Archie. "I'll have at call ya back!"

Sure enough, the next day, Archie called again. " Mr. Obama, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!"

"And what equipment would that be Archie?" Barack asked.

"Well sir, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Harry's farm tractor."

President Obama sighed. "I must tell you Archie, that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also I've increased my army to one and a half million since we last spoke."

"Lord above", said Archie, "I'll be getting back to ya."

Sure enough, Archie rang again the next day.. " President Obama, the war is still on! We have managed to git ourselves airborne! We up an' modified Harrigan's ultra-light wit a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four boys from the Legion have joined us as well!"

Barack was silent for a minute then cleared his throat. "I must tell you Archie that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!"

"Jumpins," said Archie, "l'll have at call youse back."

Sure enough, Archie called again the next day. "President Obama! I am sorry to have to tell you dat we have had to call off dis 'ere war."

"I'm sorry to hear that" said Barack. "Why the sudden change of heart?"

Well, sir," said Archie, "we've all sat ourselves down and had a long chat over a bunch of pints, and come to realize dat dere's no way we can feed two million prisoners.."

CANADIAN CONFIDENCE CAN NOT BE SHAKEN

God Bless!Canadian and Proud of it!!!

nofearengineer · 11-30-11, 08:13 PM

Pretty funny.

bamabassman · 11-30-11, 08:15 PM

lol, yeah. ol coldbasser must be getting snow blind already. hahaha!!!

Bassboss · 11-30-11, 08:19 PM

LMFAO!!! Great joke man!

joedog · 11-30-11, 10:53 PM

Hey, great story! If you can talk Archie into it, now that the war got canceled, maybe Harrigan can fly over Wiscoson and drop me a box of Cubans.

coldbasser · 12-01-11, 06:41 PM

I have some guys that go to Cuba every winter and stock up on Cigars by trading over the counter meds.
Come up here fishing and a Cobina Cigar is yours hey maybe even 2

joedog · 12-01-11, 09:42 PM

I'm packing while I type!

bamabassman · 12-01-11, 10:47 PM

there ain't enough clothes in th eworld for me ot go to canada during winter. eh.

bluebasser86 · 12-01-11, 11:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bamabassman

there ain't enough clothes in th eworld for me ot go to canada during winter. eh.

That's why you have to drink when you go icefishing up there, only way to stay warm when it's -20 out for a high

coldbasser · 12-02-11, 12:02 AM

I think the coldest that I've gone out in is -40 plus a wind chill of another -10 flippin cold no matter how you look at it. I thought that I had flat tires as they were clunking, I got out to look no flats the tires had frozen and the flat spot was why they were clunking. That cold sucks the air out of your lungs. Can't wait as I know its comin soon.

joedog · 12-02-11, 12:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bluebasser86

That's why you have to drink when you go icefishing up there, only way to stay warm when it's -20 out for a high

Grew up in a Brewery Town (remember Hielimans, Old Style and Special Export) we always refered to Ice Fishing as the "True Drinking Man's Sport"

What city in the United States has the most bars per capita?

It has to be in Wisconsin

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker

La Crosse (WI), with over 360 bars, is in the Guinness Book of World Records for the most bars per capita and also for the most bars on one street. 135 Bars on about a mile stretch of road. Both sides of street nothing but Bars.

Asker's Rating:Asker's Comment:Sweet, I was hoping someone would say La Crosse, That is where I went to college.

coldbasser · 12-02-11, 07:25 PM

at the end of the mile streach is a crowbar hotel to sleep it off

11-30-11, 08:00 PM	#1
coldbasser BassFishin.Com Active Member Join Date: Mar 2011 Location: Winnipeg Posts: 380	Your Daily Chuckle Your morning smile ~ Newfoundland Declares War On The U.S.A. President Barack Obama was in the Oval Office when his telephone rang. "Hallo, President Obama" a heavily accented voice said. "This is Archie, up ere at the Harp Seal Pub in Badger's Cove,Newfoundland, Canada, eh. I am callin' to tells ya dat we are officially declaring war on ya!" "Well Archie," Barack replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army?" "Right now," said Archie, after a moments calculation "there is myself, me cousin Harold, me next-door-neighbor Mick, and the whole dart team from the pub. That makes eight!" Barack paused. "I must tell you Archie that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command." "Wow," said Archie. "I'll have at call ya back!" Sure enough, the next day, Archie called again. " Mr. Obama, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!" "And what equipment would that be Archie?" Barack asked. "Well sir, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Harry's farm tractor." President Obama sighed. "I must tell you Archie, that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also I've increased my army to one and a half million since we last spoke." "Lord above", said Archie, "I'll be getting back to ya." Sure enough, Archie rang again the next day.. " President Obama, the war is still on! We have managed to git ourselves airborne! We up an' modified Harrigan's ultra-light wit a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four boys from the Legion have joined us as well!" Barack was silent for a minute then cleared his throat. "I must tell you Archie that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!" "Jumpins," said Archie, "l'll have at call youse back." Sure enough, Archie called again the next day. "President Obama! I am sorry to have to tell you dat we have had to call off dis 'ere war." "I'm sorry to hear that" said Barack. "Why the sudden change of heart?" Well, sir," said Archie, "we've all sat ourselves down and had a long chat over a bunch of pints, and come to realize dat dere's no way we can feed two million prisoners.." CANADIAN CONFIDENCE CAN NOT BE SHAKEN God Bless!Canadian and Proud of it!!! __________________ Canada where men are men and sheep r nervy

11-30-11, 08:13 PM	#2
nofearengineer BassFishin.Com Premier Elite Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Southwest IN Posts: 5,630	Pretty funny. __________________ Many men go fishing all of their lives without knowing it is not fish they are after.

11-30-11, 08:15 PM	#3
bamabassman BassFishin.Com Premier Elite Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: cedar bluff, alabama Posts: 15,292	lol, yeah. ol coldbasser must be getting snow blind already. hahaha!!! __________________ so many lures, so little time.

11-30-11, 08:19 PM	#4
Bassboss BassFishin.Com Premier Elite Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Shawano, WI Posts: 7,761	LMFAO!!! Great joke man! __________________ If you can't fix it with heavy squats or fish oil, you're probably going to die.

12-01-11, 06:41 PM	#6
coldbasser BassFishin.Com Active Member Join Date: Mar 2011 Location: Winnipeg Posts: 380	I have some guys that go to Cuba every winter and stock up on Cigars by trading over the counter meds. Come up here fishing and a Cobina Cigar is yours hey maybe even 2 __________________ Canada where men are men and sheep r nervy

11-30-11, 10:53 PM	#5
joedog BassFishin.Com Super Veteran Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: JANESVILLE,WI. 53545 Posts: 3,415	Hey, great story! If you can talk Archie into it, now that the war got canceled, maybe Harrigan can fly over Wiscoson and drop me a box of Cubans.

12-01-11, 09:42 PM	#7
joedog BassFishin.Com Super Veteran Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: JANESVILLE,WI. 53545 Posts: 3,415	I'm packing while I type!

12-01-11, 10:47 PM	#8
bamabassman BassFishin.Com Premier Elite Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: cedar bluff, alabama Posts: 15,292	there ain't enough clothes in th eworld for me ot go to canada during winter. eh. __________________ so many lures, so little time.

12-02-11, 12:02 AM	#10
coldbasser BassFishin.Com Active Member Join Date: Mar 2011 Location: Winnipeg Posts: 380	I think the coldest that I've gone out in is -40 plus a wind chill of another -10 flippin cold no matter how you look at it. I thought that I had flat tires as they were clunking, I got out to look no flats the tires had frozen and the flat spot was why they were clunking. That cold sucks the air out of your lungs. Can't wait as I know its comin soon. __________________ Canada where men are men and sheep r nervy

12-02-11, 07:25 PM	#12
coldbasser BassFishin.Com Active Member Join Date: Mar 2011 Location: Winnipeg Posts: 380	at the end of the mile streach is a crowbar hotel to sleep it off __________________ Canada where men are men and sheep r nervy

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