Sinuses problems, pens and thermometers

[CarpMan]

Me and the C Man have been sleeping in the barn loft. Aunt Gurtie is visiting from the West Coast, and she has a terriable habit of passing gas, and says she can't hear or smell it. We took her to the Dr. he gave fer a prescription, and said take one a day for seven days. She went back to him today, and sade Dr. I don,t know what was in those pills, but the problem is worse! I'm passing gas just as much and they're still soundless, but now they smell terrible... He said "Calm down, Aunt Gurtie.'Now that I've fixed your sinuses, we'll work on your hearing. ...Now I don't trust that Dr. He took Aunt Gurties temp with a rectal thermometer, which I didn't see. On the way back to the farm, she wanted to stop and get a small check cashed. We were in the bank and I noticed that same Dr. preparing to write a check, he pulled a rectal thermometer out of his shirt pocket and tried to write with it, then he relaized his mistake, he looked at the thermometer with annoyanceand said " Well that's just great.. some butthole has got my pen." I shure hope she will be ok. Polly and C Man

[pig n jig]

Can you redo it, I didn't get it ? J N P

[pig n jig]

If you don't attend other peoples funerals, none of them will attend yours. Now that right there is sure 'nuff funny .

[pig n jig]

Dispite popular opinion, I am still alive and kicking. There was a certain individual here that thought I was dead once, and not long after that I had congested heart failure and flat lined at least once that the doctors know of.I came through it, makes me wonder if Mr Dickerson is really a prophet or it was just coincidence ?People say they see bright lights that had near death experiences, but I didn't see chit, don't even remember falling face first, last thing I knew , I was welding and then I woke up 40+ miles away in a hospital when they had to go by 2 other hospitals to get to where they went ?Why did we get on this topic ? P N J

[CarpMan]

Originally Posted by pig n jig

Dispite popular opinion, I am still alive and kicking. There was a certain individual here that thought I was dead once, and not long after that I had congested heart failure and flat lined at least once that the doctors know of.I came through it, makes me wonder if Mr Dickerson is really a prophet or it was just coincidence ?People say they see bright lights that had near death experiences, but I didn't see chit, don't even remember falling face first, last thing I knew , I was welding and then I woke up 40+ miles away in a hospital when they had to go by 2 other hospitals to get to where they went ?Why did we get on this topic ? P N J

I don't know why we are on this topic, but I'm glad you are alive and well...I Will redo it just for you.. Me and the C Man have been sleeping in the barn loft because Aunt Gurtie is visiting from the West Coast, and she has a bad case of the farts which she can not smell or hear, but they have driven us out of the house.. We took her to the Dr., and he gave her a prescription, and said take one pill a day for seven days. She went back to see him today, and said Dr. I don,t know what was in those pills, but the problem is worse! I have the farts, they smell bad, but I can't hear them when I pass one.. He said "Calm down, Aunt Gurtie, now that I've fixed your sinuses, we can now work on your hearing...Now I didn't trust the Dr, because he took Aunt Gurties temp with a rectal thermometer and didn't tell her... On the way back to the farm, she wanted to stop at the bank to get a check cashed.... While in the bank, I noticed that same Dr. preparing to write a check. He pulled a rectal thermometer out of his shirt pocket and tried to write with it, then he relaized his mistake, he looked at the thermometer with annoyance and said " Well that's just great.. some axxhole has got my pen." I went out and checked Elmers truck seat where Aunt Gurtie was setting and found no pen marks. So the way I figure is someone else has the Dr's pencil... The CarpMan just came in from his parachute testing. Says he has a bad head ache. He made 14 successful jumps, but on the 15th jump, the chute opened on impact. I just know it's gonna leave a scar.. Polly and C Man

[pig n jig]

That started to make some sense.Tell Carpman to keep his knees and ankles together and roll as he lands to break his fall.I was in the Airborne unit in the Army long ago, but I still remember jumping off a raised deck and rolling in the wet sawdust at Fort Benning jump school.It was a unpleasant feeling to be soaken wet and sprinkled coated with sawdust especially when it got all through your clothing.Tell him to besure to collapse his chute when he has landed, or the ground currrent will drag him through the briar patch. P N J

[bassintom]

hey polly,how's the butt?..cman says if you ever have a problem with it again he's gonna have me take a look.i've worked on them before so i know what i'm doing.i told him i wouldn't charge you nothing for it either...
be a little more careful with them madtoms.

[CarpMan]

If you were here you could help my Aunt Gurtie, she getting a little age on her and she is a little forgetful, she is stuck in the toilet seat. Said she got tangeled in the cordless phone while talking to her dentist, she wanted to ask him if she coud get cavities in her dentures if she used too much artificial sweetners. She told me she was scared half to death, and ask me what would happen if she got scared half to death twice? Would she be dead! She wants to know why all the wrong numbers are never busy? If I can pry her off this toilet, I'm taking the phone away from her..I know her butt is gonna be sore. Polly and C Man