Revenge of tha Red headed twins

[CarpMan]

Our friend Gus came over this morning looken fur his lost hog. When he got here, he met two identical red headed women at tha front door, and had no idea what he wuz in fur. By now the girls anger had turned into mischievousness and the two were on a mission to have some fun, and no way was I gonna interfere with them two redheads and what they had planned fur Gus. Gus had faced up to one of them before but never in his wildest dreams did he think he would have to endure twice the trauma that he did when he met Polly and her deer skinnen blade down at the out house... They told Gus they wuz going to rub honey on his azz and make him stay in the barn all night and let the bears roam around the barn all night just to put a scare into him. They really don’t want anything to happen to Ole Gus, so that’s what thay did. Ole Gus wears long john underware with a button up backdoor, they wresteled Ole Gus to the floor and unbuttened those long johns, and painted a good thick coat of honey on his azz so it would cake up sorta hard and wouldn’t come off, and then locked him in the barn for tha nite..His hog was tied up out side tha barn close to the dogs. We heard his hog a squealing and the dogs a barken. We always left an old loaded shot gun in tha barn. Gus found that thing and sneaked out side to see what wuz gone on with his hog, he wuz scared half todeath thought there might be a bear out thar, he turned around with that back door opened on his long johns and got too close to Pollys pit bull and that dog decided that he would take a lick of that honey, and boy let me tell you, when that dog stuck his tongue to Ole Guss azz, he started shaking like he was looken a bear in tha face, tha shot gun went off and killed his hog and 5 of Polly’s chickens. Looks like we might be taken Ole Guss back to the EM. Polly says Ole Gus owes her for five chickens or else he is going to pay one way or the other. I really feel sorry for him. We're gonna have pork this week and chicken next week. So now you know what goes on up in Snow Hollow. It aint boreing. Tha C Man