Old man and a teenager

[CarpMan]

An old man sitting at the mall watched a teenager intently. The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange, and blue. The old man kept staring at him.
When the teenager was tired of being stared at, he sarcastically asked, "What's the matter, old man? Never did anything wild in your life?"
The old man did not bat an eye when he responded, "Got drunk once and had sex with a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son."

[JB]

A preacher visits an elderly woman for his congregation. As he sits on the couch he notices a large bowl of peanuts on the coffee table. "Mind if I have a few" he asks. "Not at all" the woman replied. They chat for an hour and as the preacher stands to leave, he realizes that instead of eating just a few peanuts, he emptied most of the bowl. "I'm totally sorry for eating all your peanuts, I really meant to eat few." "Oh that's all right" the woman says. "Ever since I lost my teeth, all I can do is suck the chocolate off them."

[skeeter944]

ok,there were 2 sons,a good son who had always obeyed and pleased his parents,had always made an a in school,and had been perfect. the other son was really bad,he disobeyed his parents,flunked school,and never did anything good in his life. one day,they both died,and the good son goes to heaven,and the bad son goes to hell. when the good son is met by God at the pearly gates,God decides that since this son has been so good, He is going to grant him one wish. so the good son wishes to see his bad brother in hell,and God is like," ok". so God opens the gates of hell and the brother sees his bad brother sitting on a bench with a blonde in one arm and a keg of beer in the other. the good brother is so angry that he wants to go to hell so he can have what his other brother is getting,but God says," things arent what they appear,the keg of beer has a hole in it,the blonde doesnt!"

[CarpMan]

A man walks into an emergency room with two black eyes and a broken nose. The doctor asks him what happened.
"Well," says the man, "I was having a nice round of golf with my wife. She sliced her ball into a pasture of cows. We went to look for it, and while I was rooting around, I noticed that one of the cows had something protruding from its rear end. Sure enough, when it lifted its tail, there was my wife's golf ball." "And?" asked the doctor. "Well," the man said, "that's when I lifted the cow's tail, pointed, and yelled to the missus, 'Hey, honey — this one here looks like yours!'"

[garry_3000]

:d :d :d Ok Witch Fat Cow Kicked His Arsh

[flbassman]

Cman, when I first saw this thread, I thought it was about politicians

[Bo Dale James Jr.]

Love them all!
JB nice Avatar

[texasbasser]

all very funny!!